“Worth $49 Unlimited.”

May 14, 2018 ·

This blog post is inspired by a company that stole this picture below of me recently to advertise their company in a sponsored post on Instagram. They told me that they could buy my pictures for “$49 with unlimited usage.” Not true but I am not going to get into the legal issue of using copyright photos without permission in this post, however, I will get into how you value your worth.

Who do you allow to tell you what you are worth? Society? Your job? Social Media? Your peers? Your husband/boyfriend/partner? Making bold choices in life takes a particular type of person and personality, and everyone is capable of developing this type of attitude.

I spend extended hours planning and scheduling my photo, shopping and styling clothes for the right “look” for the shoot, doing my hair and makeup, creating a “theme” for each photo session and paying my photographer. Nothing comes easy when you are building original content for your brand. Having a company take my photos and use them for their benefit without permission is just unreal to me but seems to be a new reality. No responsibility, no morals, no honesty take, take, take. A company telling me I am worth 49 dollars was amusing to me but what happens if I took that to heart? What if I started to believe that? The book I am reading currently You Are What You Think, says it perfectly “Words, said either in the privacy of the mind or spoken aloud, are powerful.” What are you saying to yourself about your worth?

I wrote about how we have a whole new type of insecurity because of social media. We place value on ourselves because of a number on our account, a number of followers, google analytics. Think about that for a second and say it out loud. How ridiculous does that sound? I get it when it comes to building your company and brand image, but numbers and followers are not the entire picture. You have so much to offer this world ladies; it doesn’t start and stop with social media.

I am going to share with you a couple of practices that I have found to be helpful when you need a break or if you feel like everyone else has the “Gorgeous life,” “Perfect family” “Best body.”

Take a 24-hour break from all social media (yes, believe me, you can do it, and you might like it). Breaks will give you time to switch off your brain and the constant scrolling.
Want a more extended break? Delete the (Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, etc.) app not your account from your phone. This way you won’t feel tempted to get on and download everyone else’s life.
Grab a cup of Dream Dust and download a guided meditation app (I love using Mindful Meditation right before going to bed) on your phone to replace the time you spend on social media. Night time rituals like these will give you time to regroup and be inspired by YOUR life not everyone else’s life.
Put your phone in another room before going to bed. Waking up and checking your social media before your eyes are even open sets the tone for the entire day and this might not be positive for you. Replace checking your feeds with breathing techniques, five-minute meditation or writing in your journal on your intentions for your day, week, month.
Spend your time reading a motivating book. Maybe you want to write a book, or you want to learn how to get to the next level in your job. Spend your valuable time feeding your brain and getting productive, positive information that will advance your career and enhance your life.

These are just some suggestions, ask for what you are worth, don’t second guess yourself and always know that YOU and only you are the one that decides what you are worth.

*some links are an affiliate

You Are Not Broken Just Bent

May 7, 2018 ·

One of the many reasons I love spinning is that my mind runs free. I can think clearly, and many blog posts were created right in the saddle mid-song. I am inspired by music and working on my body so much that I filmed a video on my Peloton Hack if you haven’t seen it check it out, I save you thousands of dollars with this hack, and you get a sexy summer body, you’re welcome.

Copyright: Rick Gomez Photography Top: Polo Ralph Lauren (similar here) Pants: Oscar de la Renta vintage (similar here, here and here) Shoes: Frontline 105 by Tamara Mellon

One of the songs on my ride today was by PINK called “Just Give Me a Reason”. I have heard this song a million times but never actually listened to the lyrics. Isn’t that so typical? I am listening to the song and most the time humming what I think are the words, and yet I am missing the entire meaning of the song. Pink sings about being not broken but bent, how incredibly beautiful is this statement? I go around thinking I am broken because I haven’t been able to conceive, I go about figuring I am broken because I went gray early on in life. Thinking this way is incredibly harmful self-talk a topic I have been researching and found this book to be very helpful. It has shown me ways to understand why choosing healthy positive thoughts is crucial to balance and happiness.

As I was climbing my hills this morning I thought back to a show I saw on how they make steel drums. That captivating sound that only a steel drum can make doesn’t come easy, there are multiple steps from stretching to create enough space for the notes, pounding with a sledgehammer to create the concave shape (sounds painless lol), cutting, burning the list goes on. Without all these steps to refine the steel to make beautiful music, it would just be ordinary steel. I started to think that if I didn’t experience infertility, I wouldn’t have been stretched, refined, put under the fire to ignite my desire to help women with their journey, to get to know myself and what I was capable of doing. Going gray in my thirties was just a little bend in my steel, a refinement if you will.

Ladies, look at what you think are imperfections in your beauty, your life as just a little bend something that makes you different and unique. That is how we each enrich the lives of everyone that gets to know us. No two women will have the same bends in their steel; no two women will have gone through the same process of refinement. Honor that, own that and set yourself free. This summer every time you see or hear steel drums you will think of how one-of-a-kind, special and deserving you are to the world.

Transparency In a Social Nation

May 1, 2018 ·

Look up the definition of transparency, and you get “the condition of being transparent.” OK, so what does that mean? I think in our new social media distorted nation no one knows what transparency means anymore. Transparency means being yourself? Being true to your values? Letting the world/strangers/followers see YOU as a hot mess on certain days, living room/kitchen/bathroom, not Instagram perfect? Being truly real as in no filter on yourself, your words, your personality?

I don’t know how we got so far away from being real but what I do know is that I wasn’t genuinely transparent when I first started out on YouTube in 2010. I felt I had to be this “perfect” beauty guru, look a certain way, do videos like everyone else, make my life seem so amazing it was draining and made me very unhappy. From 2010 to 2014 I was doing the same thing everyone else was doing just with my twist on beauty videos it wasn’t until the fire aka infertility got so hot under me that I couldn’t keep up the “my life is ah-mazing” façade. It was a scary place to be not knowing if I wanted my true story, my true self to come out and meet the perfect social media world but I did. I came out of the “my life is perfect” in December of 2014 and shared with the world why I couldn’t keep up with my videos and blogging production. Can we say UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!

It was at this time I started a separate blog called “Not Just A Beauty Blogger” and YouTube channel to document my infertility journey because again I didn’t want to turn people off on my main Fresh Beauty Studio blog with real-life struggles. I went through my first four years of making beauty videos on YouTube with little interaction from my followers it was almost like an abyss, one big black hole of silence until I became transparent and real.

The moment I opened up and told my truth about my life, not the so-called “perfect” life that’s when I found my tribe of women that supported me, could relate to me and gave me the strength to keep going through IVF. I made connections to women from all over the world, I met some of these women in person and had developed beautiful friendships. I am still in contact with many of these women today. On my fourth IVF cycle, I decided enough was enough with the hair dye, and I made the bold decision to allow myself to go gray at forty. Ladies, I get it IVF is not for everyone, going gray is not for everyone, but that was what was happening to me so I could either keep fighting it, covering up, trying to be someone I wasn’t or allow. There is a lot to learn about acceptance and letting go when it comes to your life. It’s not easy or painless, but there is beauty in both.

Two years after deciding to let my gray hair shine I found another fantastic tribe of women that supported me. All the women that feel the same way I do about dying their hair and wanting to break free from societies beauty rules showed up on my YouTube video My Gray Hair Journey. Since then I have connected with amazing women all over the world that is going gray, wanting to go gray or wanting support with aging. I feature one of my readers each week on my blog called Silver Sister Spotlight. None of this would have happened if I pretended my life was perfect, pretended that I didn’t struggle, pretended that I was someone I wasn’t.

“This is ME a forty-two-year-old woman with gray hair being raw and real.” Nikol Johnson

It’s overwhelming scrolling and swiping through social media just to see everyone being paid to push a product or service. I don’t know who to believe anymore with #ad, #sponsored we are so inundated with the pressure to buy, look a specific way, swipe up. Why are you valued on the number below your name, how ridiculous is that? A number makes you valuable to a company? To yourself? How did we get so far away from what matters? A digit doesn’t define you as worthy especially when a lot of these so-called numbers are just smoke and mirrors. I have these conversations a lot with my clients and friends. Some of them have decided that it’s not worth their mental health to keep seeing fake and unrealistic visuals on a daily basis, so they have taken a break from social media. The question is: Where are the thought leaders? Why is everyone doing the same thing and pushing the latest “It” top or butt enhancing pads because a company is paying them? Do they even like the top, skin care cream or butt plumping pads (sorry I have to laugh)? There is no originality in doing that. I recently read an article in the New York Times about how celebrities, politicians, and want-to-be influencers are buying followers; I mean seriously where is the transparency?

Why did I choose to post a picture of myself in a bra and underwear for this blog post? I have nothing to hide, it’s untouched, no fake eyelashes, minimal makeup, no self-tanner, not filtered, authentic, just ME. I am breaking away from what social media says is beautiful. I could sit here and pick apart the entire photo based on Instagram guidelines, but I choose to represent women in a new light. This real woman is me, a forty-two-year-old with gray hair that works hard to achieve a healthy lifestyle and bring my followers authentic and transparent content. I turn down companies every day that want to send me free product in return for a video or blog post. I don’t do that never have and never will. I find no value in spending time and effort creating blog posts or videos just for the sake of writing a blog post/video because a company gave me free products. I research and use products that I want to use, that I find beneficial to my skin, body, and mind. I reach out or accept companies products that are in line with my values, vision, and brand.

I don’t know if the way we look at beauty, ourselves, other women will ever be the same because of social media and how warped it has become. I know one thing to be real, I am committed to showing up in this world as my true self and honoring my unique style and delivering valuable raw content to my readers no matter what my virtual numbers say.

How To Get a Gray Attitude

April 25, 2018 ·

Ladies I get it, going gray is not fun no matter what your age. All the stereotypical statements go through your head that people say from “I am so old,” “Grandma Hair,” “Frumpy old lady.” You name it you’re thinking it. So what are you to do? Default to what society says is beautiful and young? Allow your negative self-talk to keep you from being true to yourself? Or keep on dying your hair, so it looks entirely unnatural for your age? Maybe give up and add more toxins every two weeks so that you can feel accepted? I think NOT.

I know gray hair is not for everyone, but I don’t think I need to remind everyone that Beauty Reinvented is all about women that WANT to go gray.

Photo Credit; Rick Gomez Photography

When you are feeling down, and very unattractive how do you pick yourself back up and get in the game? How do you feel confident when all your peers are sporting golden locks or rich chestnut hair? I have created a list for you ladies to print out and post to your mirror or somewhere you will see it on a daily basis. I am your biggest cheerleader because I felt everything you are feeling. I didn’t have a gray-haired role model that did videos or wrote a blog about it when I was first going through this crazy gray transition over two years ago.

When your gray hair journey gets hard, and you are at your last dark hair strand NOW that’s when you need to push for your gray and own it even more. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “This too shall pass.” Ladies, it’s a hair color that means nothing except for a bold, fierce and downright powerful attitude. If you dyed your hair pink, purple or green like a lot of women, not just teens are doing do you think anyone would care? So why do they care about gray? Think about that for a second.

Here is the plan, read this list below, print it out to give yourself the encouragement you need to get through each day. I promise you it gets more comfortable you have to commit and not look back.

I designed a couple of hats like the one I am wearing in this photo that is available on my website. Perfect for the days where you are just like I can’t take it anymore. It’s a fashionable statement to help you through the growing out period. You have seen me wearing this hat a lot on my Instagram. I love how I make a statement without having to say a word.

Silver Sister Spotlight with Hillary

April 20, 2018 ·

The silver sister circle gets smaller, meet Hillary a gorgeous woman that lives in my backyard (well, not literally) but here in Miami! The funny thing is is that Hillary and I have shot with the same photographer (Yes, the fantastic photographer that does all my photo shoots) but we have never met! How crazy is that! We met through Instagram so ladies this shows you the power of social media and connecting. Hillary and I are working on something extraordinary for all of you so keep checking back to the blog for updates. Don’t forget to show Hillary some love and follow her on Instagram.

Hillary is a native New Yorker and went to the Fashion Institue of Technology. After graduating from F.I.T., she was a senior buyer at Bergdorf Goodman for over ten years. Hillary modeled for a short period as a teenager but was told she wasn’t the right “All American” look. Fast forward to her adult life, Hillary married an Ambassador to Cuba, Belgium, and Uruguay which led to being overseas until 2009 when she moved to Miami.

Hilary reentered the modeling world at age 50! She went to an audition for a Zumba dancer and not only booked it but was used for all advertising of the Zumba Gold program. From there she was encouraged to pursue agents etc., and she did. Hillary is represented worldwide, and it’s been almost five years as a full-time model. She has several TV commercials running at the moment along with ads for fitness, health, and beauty. Hillary says she loves the creativity of this business, but you also need to deal with an enormous amount of rejection- something people often don’t realize.

Q: Tell us when you first started seeing gray hair.

A: I first started seeing my gray hair as early as my mid-20’s! My hair was naturally very dark, so they stood out. I loved it and thought it looked like strands of tinsel. I never thought about covering them up. By the time I turned 40, I was indeed salt and pepper.

Q: What made you decide to go gray?

A: I decided to keep my gray because I loved being unique and I think it appealed to my rebellious side. With each negative comment I received (and there were many) it only made me more determined to stay true to my personal choice – not what the beauty industry and society dictated.
Going gray is not for the timid-it is a bold statement. Twenty years ago the internet was new, and there wasn’t an online gray hair support community or chat groups- no info about the process, products to use, etc. Now it is so much easier and beautiful to connect worldwide with like-minded women “The Silver Sisters.”

Q: You are a busy working model how has your gray hair enhanced your career?

A: My hair is my signature along with a 100% natural look. That’s the image I chose as my brand. As a model, it has been both an asset and hindrance. The concept of accepting gray hair is becoming something other than “old lady/grandma,” but the reality is that advertising is still youth-oriented. Women always search for any way to look younger and ads will continue to be marketed towards that. It happens often that a client will choose a woman my age with dyed hair over gray for that very reason. There is a fallacy about dyed hair equals youth, and gray hair equals old. But it is slowly changing and I am proud to be one of the pioneers.

Q: What has been your most exciting booking as a gray hair model?

A: Being chosen as the first mature gray haired model in the Athleta catalog in 2016 was thrilling I was featured alongside young women of all body types and ethnicities- I was truly proud to represent my generation.
I also had my first magazine cover in 2017 – M Magasin Sweden the images are unedited and marketed to women over forty.

Q: What advice do you have for women wanting to go gray?

A: My advice is to go for it!! You will never regret it. Surround yourself with people (online virtual and real) who support You being You. Gray hair does inspire comments from virtual strangers that no other color will- so be prepared. Many are very kind and genuine- enjoy those and learn to ignore the rest which inevitably comes from other women being cruel just because of their insecurities. Gray hair will make you stand out- Own it. Confidence is the key.

Ladies with a Gray Attitude

April 18, 2018 ·

Let’s face it you have to have a fierce attitude when you go gray. Now, this is not a negative attitude, it’s not an unattractive attitude it’s an attitude that shows confidence and self-worth.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

From my experience, I felt very uncomfortable when I first decided to ditch the dye. I would look in the mirror and separate my hair and say OMG what are you thinking? What are you doing? I would flip through magazines and see hair campaigns with girls my age sporting gorgeous brunette glossy locks and then I would see commercials with girls in slow motion running with their beautiful freshly dyed hair waving at me. I felt so alone, so weird and so unattractive. Can you relate?

“When Society Says NO, You Say YES!”

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

In life, we all know the saying it’s not what happens to you it’s how you handle it or something along those lines. I decided to start looking at myself as lucky, lucky that I had hair, lucky my hair was gray, lucky that I could be an inspiration to other women wanting to embrace their gray hair. That’s when it all changed for me and my gray hair and I became friends. How long did this take? Probably a good year into the transition. What made my hair journey so much easier is that I didn’t try and stay the same with the style of my hair. I cut it to a chic bob and kept cutting it every six weeks so the black dye would quickly disappear. You can’t half-ass going gray you are either in or out. There is no “Let me kind of see how this looks” or “Oh I will just do gray a little bit.” Cut your hair and get over it. It’s not cute to have hair on the ground and gray roots that will never catch up. That’s, where the fierce part comes in you, have to grab your personal gray movement by the roots and go for it. Ladies hair does not define you and cutting your hair is a necessity to your gray hair journey.

“You Can’t Half-Ass Going Gray, You Are Either In or Out.” Nikol Johnson

Maybe you have a boyfriend, spouse or partner that is not supportive. You and only you have to Own Your Beauty. Your gray hair journey is not for anyone else to decide Period. You are running this race no one else. So if you don’t have a support system head on over to my private Facebook group called Beauty Reinvented and join the other ladies that are going through the same thing you are. Remember it all starts from within.

Silver Sister Spotlight with Pilar

April 13, 2018 ·

I am a total stalker when it comes to Instagram and women showcasing their gray hair journey. I love that we can all connect on social media and share our unique stories. I found Pilar somehow through all my late night scrolling and I couldn’t wait to share her journey with you. Show Pilar some love and go visit her on Instagram.

Pilar is native Spaniard and has spent most of her adult years living and working abroad. She has a BA in Film and Media and an MA in Screenwriting, she has worked in the film, TV and theatre industries. In recent years she made a career move exploring some aspects of marketing, and she is currently on sabbatical doing what she enjoys most: helping raise awareness and funds for two charities she has been collaborating with for years, and acting as a consultant for one-off fundraising events. She resides in London with her husband and their two daughters.

When did you start going gray?

My last appointment to cover my greys was late June 2017. I had not planned it, it was a simple ‘what if’ scenario. What if I stopped dyeing my hair? What if I liked what I saw? What if it suited me? I talked to my stylist during that last appointment and to my surprise, he was all for it. Next thing I know is that we are exchanging pics of hairstyles for grey-haired ladies. Two months later he dyed my colored hair one last time adding highlights where my natural hair was lighter, and lowlights where it was still dark. I lost a bit of my new growth in the process, which is why I always mention two timelines when I date a picture of my hair, but it was definitely worth going through this five-hour long appointment at the salon.

How did you feel going gray in your forties?

I started seeing greys in my early 20s, and they kept multiplying until I first dyed them in my late 30s. I was familiar with living with a certain amount of greys and I knew I had a lighter streak at the front but I had never imagined that my hair would be so much more salt than pepper now.

I am the only one among my friends who has grey hair and does not color it. I initially thought that this might affect me, that I would feel unattractive and out of place when around them. Then there were the thoughts about work. Since the prospect of applying for jobs that will involve face-to-face meetings with clients is considerably high given my background, I also thought that my hair would be an issue when I start interviewing again after my sabbatical. It turns out that I am delighted with my decision of going grey and I do not feel that I am less just because I do not conform any more to the norm of hiding my silvers if anything this has made me stronger. And if my silvers are an issue to a potential employer, then that company would not be worth working for!

I have gifted myself three hours of my time every three weeks, and I do not have to worry anymore about calculating when to dye my roots so I would look on point for a certain event or holiday. I can’t wait for my hair to be all grey, but in the meantime, there are many ways of looking stylish. What’s not to like about this?!

What’s been your hardest challenge going gray?

In all fairness, the process is being a lot less challenging than I had anticipated. The first few weeks were certainly the most difficult. Getting used to the idea that my natural roots were here to stay took me a bit of time and a lot of staring at them in the mirror. I knew there would be no more color appointment so I made the effort of wearing my new growth with pride, and I only used colored hair powder and sprays on two occasions: a gala dinner and a wedding, both at the beginning of my transition. I attended family weddings on the third and fourth month of my transition and on both occasions I asked for a hairstyle that would bring out my silvers rather than hide them.

Also, I noticed early in my gray transition that if I wanted to succeed I could not neglect my hairstyle or my make-up on a daily basis. For someone used to air dry her hair and with zero make-up skills this has probably been the most challenging part, and yet I am enjoying it: it’s never too late to learn new skills!

What advice do you have for the woman that gets negative comments about her gray hair?

I have not received many negative comments so far, and I am certain that my extremely positive attitude about going grey has a lot to do with this. Transitioning to grey is quite a bumpy ride, and the key to success is to own your decision. Feel confident, and people will see beautiful silvers and the prospect of a healthy mane rather than grey roots.

You may get compliments from total strangers and the nastiest of comments from close friends or relatives. Your inner circle will have the greatest impact on how you feel during the transition. Be prepared for insensitive comments, and some funny looks, especially at the beginning of the process. My husband had never wanted me to dye my hair so he was very supportive, even when my roots looked like a hot mess. My children… well, that was a very different story: they almost cried! I was the cool mum all their friends wished they had and all of a sudden they were picturing me as this 100-year-old grey haired witch that children see in animated films… and they reminded me of it on a daily basis! Then there were my friends, most of them encouraging me to do this with just one or two friends telling me how old I would look and asking me to color my hair again, to do it ‘for them’… But the real shock came when my own mother, who has never dyed her hair and has a wonderful healthy silver mane, told me I should not stop coloring my hair because it would age me. Of course, determined as I am when I want to do something, I listened, smiled, and carried on with my business. Eventually, those who openly opposed to my grey journey, in the beginning, have now either come around or given up on me. Remember that there is one certain thing about novelty: it wears out!

What made you want to share your gray hair journey on social media?

When I started this journey I found stunning grey-haired ladies who inspired me, ladies whose hair made me dream that one day perhaps mine would be half as beautiful. As a matter of fact, your Instagram account was one of the first relevant accounts I followed, and it’s not just your incredible grey hair that I love.

I am not a model, nor am I a fabulous photographer or even have decent equipment (I mostly post iPhone selfies), and I certainly do not have a glamorous life… at least not always! I am just a girl next door many women could relate to, a practical woman who is consistent with her lifestyle choices, and I created @silverlocksshining with that in mind. Instagram is the ideal platform to quickly share the ups and downs of my everyday going-grey life, and other women who may be considering taking the plunge can see what I am experiencing: the challenges, the changes (some of them deeper than just hair color), the hair growth at every stage… Lots of headshots, which may help others overcome a rough phase or maybe picture themselves with grey hair. Even if every journey is different, seeing that someone has been there too and has managed to go through it can encourage others to stay the course.

Sharing my journey on social media also helps me keep focused and see the evolution myself. We all have days when we think nothing has changed in weeks and this visual record proves me that my hair is indeed growing and that it is now stronger, healthier and much shinier than all those years I was throwing color at it to cover those silvers I am now in love with.

What Does Being A Girl Boss Mean?

April 3, 2018 ·

#Girlboss, #Bossbabe, #LikeABoss are thrown around like candy in a social media world that’s all about image and the perception of success. What does being a Girl Boss mean? Is there pressure to be this perfect woman that #slays it like a #WomanOnTop all of the time? Are we creating more pressure to be perfect, always put together with the “perfect” life or maybe I should say showing the “perfect life?” I find myself even using these hashtags as part of my daily vocabulary and using them in my Instagram posts like they are going out of style. I even sell travel mugs in my studio that says “Like A Boss.” We all want positive images, mantras, phrases but where do trends stop and real life takes over? For the last couple of months every time I use one of these hashtags I think to myself “What does this mean?”

Photo Credit: Rick Gomez Photography

We live in a world now that is entirely run by media, social media and what people want you to believe is right. The constant need and desire to keep up the term #WomanOnTop, to post the next best image, the next best blog post, video, podcast and when you fail to fill this social media beast you have FOMO continually. Do I have enough followers? Oh, wait her massive following is fake? And I have been comparing myself/career/life to her? Listen I am also in this spin cycle of our new world just like everyone else, but I have been thinking about what a #GirlBoss is/does/lives/thinks. The most important thing to remember is that you are unique and not like everyone else. You don’t need to compare yourself to the next Instagram account, Facebook “Life” or business. The power comes from within not from a hashtag.

Photo Credit: Rick Gomez Photography

So what is a Girl Boss? Ask yourself that question, what does that mean to you?

What does a Girl Boss do? Is she a Mom that manages a household? Is she your retired neighbor that grows a garden? Is she your doctor? Is she the line cook at your daughter’s school? Is she YOU? Do you see where I am going with this?

Where does a Girl Boss live? LOL, this is getting silly because she lives everywhere in the world!

How does a Girl Boss think? Take the label off because you are a woman of power, of light, of discipline, of love. You have so much more to yourself than trying to be a Girl Boss.

Let me say there is nothing wrong with trends etc. or wanting to be a Girl Boss. I am pointing out that getting caught up in a trendy label, pushing yourself to be at some social media level of success is not something to strive for, it’s just that trendy.

Photo Credit: Rick Gomez Photography

Do I struggle with keeping up with the social media whirlwind I mean what entrepreneur doesn’t? I sometimes wish we could go back to 1988 where your phone had a cord attached to the wall, you weren’t allowed to have a phone in your room, and when you went out, NO ONE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD IF THEY COULDN”T REACH YOU. Constant pressure to have better numbers not only with your bank account but in your social media accounts it’s almost like we don’t have a name just value by numbers. I think #Girlboss has seen its day and women are looking for more substance, more depth, more connection to not only a popular saying.

How you show up to the world is what is powerful, how you handle yourself in challenging situations is powerful. Life is not always comfortable, and with all the distractions we face now it’s incredible that we get anything done. We have apps that can deliver you anything from coffee to a driver. If you don’t get the information in a Nanosecond, the world feels like it’s coming unglued. Ask yourself what empowers you? What makes you feel powerful? I can tell you that it’s not Instagram or Facebook or a hashtag behind your name that says #Girlboss. In recent studies, one in five people say they feel depressed as a result of using social media.

Create your reality one that is real and true. Set out to impress yourself not anyone else. Reach for your goals, take that class, turn off your phone, look around, live, breathe, love, share, talk, speak, listen, hug, encourage, feel, because THAT is what counts ladies. You are what you believe and say to yourself start writing your story and live it.

Don’t Look Down

March 9, 2018 ·

I find it very curious that the more I encourage women to allow their beauty to be whatever that is, gray hair, wrinkles, a bold lip color I get passive aggressive comments, nasty comments or just ridiculous negative comments. This post on negativity is going to be my first and last post about this nonsense.

I cycle three to four times a week, and I am an animal in these classes. I have been cycling since 1996 yes, I know can you believe it? And I honestly am obsessed. It has always been a way for me to release stress, get mental clarity, think and come up with the best business ideas and blog posts. The music and beat just hits me in class in such a profound way that if I were listening to the same song driving, it wouldn’t have the same impact. In this mornings class, there was a song on that just ignited me to write this post.

I didn’t put a lot of thought into how women would react to my Beauty Reinvented website or message, but it seems that it does ruffle some wrinkles out there. Let’s be clear I am not driven by what others think because if I were, I would never have gone gray at forty. I am not here to please everyone, I am here to share my journey, to be bold and fearless in a world that dictates what beauty means, what beauty is and what beauty should be.

Going gray is like walking the line some days you are on point and don’t fall off and other days you can’t get your balance. It’s all about your mindset, and YES everyone can go gray, but if you don’t change your makeup, hairstyle or wardrobe than you are right, you can’t go gray. Women write all over my videos saying how they can’t go gray or that gray doesn’t look good on them. I am not sure what that means. Would you decide to be blonde and not change up your style? Do you think you can just rock blonde hair and not change up your makeup? If you are looking to make a significant beauty change and feel that it’s easy and there is no effort required on your part well then I have nothing else to say.

Life challenges you in ways you never thought possible, and I am not just talking your beauty. Living and having it all together is hard ladies, we all are dealing with something so the next time you say you can’t do something, start complaining as I have been for the past week that has altered my flow take a step back and whip out that gratitude journal. Writing down what is going right in your life will change your vibe and energy. Focusing on what is happening right this second will give you a new perspective and a fresh outlook.

To all the women out there that are lashing out at my bold, fierce message take a look inside and figure out what is lacking in your life. Where is that energy coming from, how can you change? Be a light in this beauty darkness, self-acceptance, self-love journey. You are only bringing yourself down, making your vibe run low.

I only have time for like-minded women in my journey, and I thank all of you that have commented and been so supportive! You are my strength to keep going. I will NOT alter my message because it doesn’t sit right with whoever. I am here to be a bold, unapologetic force of beauty.

Take your focus from looking down and set your eyes on what’s right in front of you.

Silver Sister Spotlight with Melanie

March 6, 2018 ·

Hey, beauty industry hear us ROOOOAAARRRRR! That’s right next up is our beautiful Melanie a thirty-nine-year-old retired Social Worker turned full-time wedding florist and part-time beauty YouTube guru. She is a Mother of a precious six-year-old daughter, married to her best friend and loves all things beauty, specifically makeup and skin care.

Melanie like most of us is trying to figure out how to care for her new gray hair situation. Melanie started going gray in her mid-twenties and fought it for years until in her mid-thirties she decided to finally let go and embrace the new her by letting her gray grow out. She comes from a long line of strong German women who went gray very early in life. Both her Mother and Oma have the most beautiful silver hair and they were her inspiration to finally give herself permission to “let it go.” Melanie feels it was the best decision of her life and has not looked back. She loves the journey that she is on and she is so excited to see so many Silver Sisters embracing their natural beauty when it comes to their hair.

Follow and show Melanie some love on her social media outlets here: Instagram, YouTube

1. Tell us why you made such a powerful video titled “Why is My Hair Gray on Purpose.”

For the most part, the vast majority of my regular subscriber base was really supportive of my decision to let my hair transition. They were super encouraging. But others, not so much. I decided to make a video about why I chose to embrace my gray hair because while I received a lot of support, I was also constantly getting comments on my video from people as to why I would ever even consider letting my hair go gray. People told me I looked 20-30 years old than my actual age. It honestly got to be frustrating either deleting or constantly responding to these comments that were clearly aimed at making me feel like I was making the wrong decision. Comments like “You’d be so much prettier if you didn’t have gray hair.” really started to anger me. My decision to go gray was based on a personal choice. A choice I did not feel I needed to get permission for from anyone. My gray hair actually made me feel 1000 times more confident and beautiful than my “fake blonde” hair ever did. My gray hair was me. I stopped fighting the inevitable and embraced a new version of me and I loved it. And the negativity from others surrounding that decision honestly just irritated me and I wanted to address people’s “concerns.”

2. You decided to stop covering up your gray, how did that make you feel? Were you liberated or did you feel like it was a mistake?

I felt amazing once I finally decided to take the plunge. I guess I had a little confidence boost from the fact that so many younger girls were dying their hair gray at the time. I figured, no better time than now! I went to my hairdresser and we came up with a game plan to transition my blonde to gray. There was never a single ounce of regret. As soon as I saw my hair gray in the mirror, I knew I had made the right choice. I loved the way it looked! I knew it would take time to grow everything out, but I knew I could do it. Having the help of a talented hairdresser really made the transition much easier for me.

3. As a Mom with gray hair, how do you encourage your daughter to embrace her beauty and self-confidence?

I have always encouraged my daughter Stella to be herself. I have never imposed a certain beauty norm on her. She has always naturally gravitated towards being more of a girly girl. Her style is definitely feminine. As soon as she could choose her own outfits, I let her pick her clothing. She was under the age of 2 the first time she showed me a preference in the way she wanted to dress and how she wanted her hair. She didn’t like pigtails or ponytails, so I never made her wear them. She liked accessories like necklaces and I let her style all her accessories by herself. She is always so proud of what she comes up with. While it doesn’t always “match” it makes her happy and that is all I want. I also make sure she knows that beauty is more than just someone’s outward appearance. Being beautiful on the inside by being a kind and caring person is far more important than any outfit or the lipgloss you wear. I’m proud to say that my girl is one of the kindest more generous little kids I know. I’m so so proud of her!

4. How has your personal style changed with gray hair?

Honestly not a ton. I think the season of life I am in, the mom to a super busy 6-year-old season doesn’t really allow me much focus on style. I am a classic soccer mom leggings/yoga pants and tunics kind of girl right now. Fashion is really not at the forefront of my mind at this point in time. I hope it gets to be again someday, but I’m ok with where I am at right now. I work for my job and my current lifestyle. My makeup has changed a bit. I do tend to gravitate towards cooler colors now that my hair is not blonde any longer. Warmer tones don’t always look best so I have to be careful. But I will still rock a rusty brown eyeshadow if I feel like it 😉 I don’t think your hair color should really dictate your personal style necessarily. You may need to make some tweaks to feel like you look your best, but that is 100% up to you.

5. What advice do you have for women just starting out in their gray hair journey?

My biggest piece of advice for someone starting out on their journey is to ignore the negativity that some people may throw your way. Don’t let “well-meaning compliments” like “You look so much better/younger/healthier with your blonde, brown, red hair” faze you. If you think that now is the time for you to start on your journey, then do it! And don’t look back, unless YOU want to. Do not let other’s dictate your journey in life. If you want to be gray, be gray. If you don’t because you are just not personally ready, then wait. But do it for you! It’s not necessarily easy to grow your hair out. While a good hairdresser can get you started, it’s a very different reality to wake up in the morning and see yourself with such a drastically different color. It can feel like you are having to let go of something big. But look at it as a new, exciting journey where you get to be the new you. Wiser, bolder, more adventurous. Embrace this new look and just go for it. Just don’t listen to others. No one has the right to tell you how to rock your hair. That’s up to you 😉