Gabrielle Union is the latest woman up on the chopping block because of her infertility and the picture of her holding her newborn in a hospital gown skin on skin.  Before I jump into this topic, let me give you a little bit of background. 

Gabrielle Union is an American actress, activist, and author. She is married to NBA star Dwyane Wade and is very open about her struggles to conceive. Even though I don’t know Gabrielle personally if we met, we would understand each other without having to say a word.

You see, we are both IVF sisters we share a silent bond of struggle, sadness, longing, heartache, and loss we also share a late diagnosis of endometriosis.

Dealing with painful periods my entire life was one thing and has since lessened after the endometriosis surgery but the pain of not being able to have a biological child well, that pain will last a lifetime.

Even though it seems like everyone is doing IVF or having fertility struggles coming forward publicly is not easy. Gabrielle’s decision to share her journey helps other women that might be silently enduring the pain of infertility.

When I saw the post on Instagram from Oprah saying that Gabrielle is receiving unfair criticism and Mommy shamming about the pregnancy and childbirth of her daughter it enraged me. Thank goodness Gabrielle was able to use a surrogate.

I am not sure why this is such a big deal to people, but it seems that Gabrielle was wearing a hospital gown and holding her newborn skin to skin common protocol for a new Mother. The public took this as she was trying to “pretend” she had the baby herself.

I am outraged that people are saying that she is “trying to pretend she had the baby.” For starters, Gabrielle went through eight to nine miscarriages (she has said she lost count of how many) and another eight failed IVF cycles. She has been completely transparent about her baby journey.

For the people that have made a negative comment it’s out of ignorance and the intent to spread negativity. Just like with any other life issue or struggle you will never know how it feels unless you are going or have been through it. When are we going to stop this negative cycle towards women?

The scary thing is most of these comments come from women. Why is it that we all think that we need to state our opinion, thoughts, or advice to a stranger on social media?  

“WHEN ARE WE GOING TO STOP THIS NEGATIVE CYCLE TOWARDS WOMEN?”

I understand everyone wants to have a say in the social abyss. We have created a platform for every person with a keyboard under their fingers to chime in anonymously and give you their opinion about anything and everything.

I am not saying you can’t have a voice, but it seems that most of the nasty negative comments come without education or facts and THAT’S what the issue is especially when dealing with sensitive women issues. If we came together to help and support women when dealing with pregnancy, surrogacy, miscarriage and infertility problems maybe there wouldn’t be such a taboo hush-hush cloud covering these topics.

I thought after writing for three years for Not Just a Beauty Blogger that I wouldn’t really get involved in issues like this anymore, but it just hits a chord with me.

Is one voice enough? This question comes up a lot for me. Somedays when I get bombarded with negative and downright cruel comments about my appearance on YouTube I think why am I even doing this! Why even try and help women with their beauty when I get so much hate from WOMEN.

I then realize that my voice is POWERFUL, BOLD and UNAPOLOGETIC beyond measure. I open the folder I made on my computer for what I like to call my email “love letters’ that I have received from women all over the world. I read through these emails and feel recharged. It gives me hope to hear how much I have impacted their life whether that might be through my IVF blog, Fresh Beauty Studio’s blog or my Beauty YouTube channel.

So I ask myself this again ‘Is one voice enough?’I would say YES! One voice starts the movement of change. Luckily my voice was united with dozens of other women that had or were going through their own fertility journey back in 2014. Together we did and do make an impact on educating the public on infertility and endometriosis.
So ladies, if you are sitting behind your laptop or mobile device today feeling overwhelmed by what strangers have said to you about the color of your hair maybe you are feeling you are too old to date or feel like a big fat failure because you are or have struggled with fertility.  Know you are not alone.

We can make a difference and stop this negative cycle of comments by choosing the words we allow out of our mouths. Check in with yourself and open your heart and arms to women just like yourself that are struggling (don’t kid yourself, we are all challenged in some way throughout the years) through this thing we call life.