Fashion Dysmorphia – Why The Need for Youth is Ruining Our Self-Esteem

February 22, 2019 ·

Let’s have a little sit-down chat, shall we? I recently subscribed to the magazine PORTER instead of receiving the magazine on my Nook. Porter came yesterday, and as I flipped through the magazine, I was creeped out at how young these models were for big brands like Chanel, Michael Kors, Fendi, Jimmy Choo, etc. It’s honestly disgusting to me that in 2019 we are still showing these little girls in clothes that cost over five thousand dollars a piece. Think about that for a second heck is anyone thinking about this or questioning how the fashion industry portrays women?

I don’t think so, or something would have changed by now. I can’t relate to teenagers in a Chanel suit or a teenager putting on Chanel makeup. I think it’s ridiculous for me to try and compare my skin, face, body to an embryo. Let’s remember that I probably see zero to one percent of the time a gray-haired model or woman over fifty featured in these magazines (that’s not a celebrity) such as Elle and Harpers Bazaar. Oh, wait! I did see a mature woman with long gray hair for Valentino but they had her hold up branches with leaves all over them so I couldn’t see her face. If you don’t believe me check out the March issue of Harpers Bazaar. We all know the fashion and beauty industry is extremely shallow but how is looking at a pubescent girl going to make me want to buy clothes? Buy an anti-wrinkle cream or even better seven hundred dollar shoes?

We all know the fashion and beauty industry is extremely shallow but how is looking at a pubescent girl going to make me want to buy clothes? Buy an anti-wrinkle cream or even better seven hundred dollar shoes?

Advertising is all subconscious ladies; you look through these magazines and page after glossy page you are bombarded with teenagers, unrealistic images, some women over the age of thirty and forty but very rarely. What does that say to us? If you are over forty, you are not beautiful, not worthy of being shown in an ad? Seriously how can you go to the Chanel counter and look at the teenage girls on their point of sale and think I am sixty-five I am going to look like that if I use this cream for four hundred dollars? Is thin, thinner, thinnest the only size in fashion? Surgery, laser, botox, filler anyone?

As a former model, I am getting so tired of seeing this display of ignorance and limited thinking by the fashion and beauty industry. It’s almost laughable to put Kaia Gerber (Cindy Crawfords daughter) a seventeen-year-old that has sparked tons of rumors recently for having an eating disorder in a Fendi or Jimmy Choo advertisement. Am I missing something? Because I feel like I am. I have nothing against Kaia or the other teenagers featured in these ads; it’s the ripple down effect that I want to point out. The pressure is beyond intense in the social media/fashion/beauty industries with more and more “influencers” completely changing their faces and bodies whether that is in the form of filters or full-blown surgeries. What is this saying to our daughters? What is this saying to women in general that feel like they are not enough because all they see is altered faced and bodies? The competition is brutal; influencers are all vying for a bite out of the lucrative pot of “influencer” marketing dollars. Enter why people buy fake followers and “likes” geez did I even just write that?

I ran a poll on my Instagram Stories the other day asking you if you thought it was weird that Chanel was featuring teenagers in their ads and most of you said that now that you think about my statement it WAS peculiar. Hearing from my followers reinforced what I have been thinking for a long time now, NO ONE IS THINKING ABOUT HOW WEIRD ANY OF THIS IS. We are all looking and not caring, or we are so numb to how dysfunctional these powerhouse advertisements are that we are blind to them. Do you think this will ever stop? Do you think that there could be a movement that one day companies will show who is really buying their clothes, accessories, and makeup?

In my opinion, it’s all fun and games for these girls until you see what’s happening behind the scenes with the pressure of social media and the pressure of the fashion industry to be thin, “perfect” and fit into a fake world ruled by numbers, subscribers, followers. Take for example Lisa Rina’s daughter Dalia, I caught up on the second episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night and was not surprised to see that Lisa’s daughter came out to the world about her eating disorder from the pressures of trying to be a model. More and more girls are looking at these ads like Chanel and Fendi with Kaia and thinking that this is normal. Selfie surgery is on the rise if you don’t know what that is you’re lucky.

Not all companies are creating this unrealistic disease. We still have CoverGirl and Neutrogena that have a brain and have tapped into their demographic. CoverGirl is featuring Maye Musk age seventy with the campaign slogan “I Am What I Make Up” and Neutrogena featuring Nicole Kidman age fifty-one for an age-appropriate skin care product like “Rapid Wrinkle Repair.” This post isn’t about not buying from Chanel or the rest of the fashion houses that are out of touch with women. This post is about being aware in a world where it seems we accept what we see and don’t stand up and say HEY! That’s Not Right!!! Start the conversation, stand up for what you think is right or wrong. Don’t sit back and think “Oh well, it’s all too big and out of reach for me.” or “I am just one voice who really cares?

I can’t wait until the day that I hear my mailbox clang pour a glass of crisp champagne and slide into my reclining couch to read the latest fashion magazine. I expect to see glossy page after glossy page women over forty that inspire me, encourage me to embrace my age and love my aging body. It might be far off on the fashion and beauty horizon, but I will never stop dreaming of the day we celebrate women through age and acceptance in magazines, billboards, the workforce, TV and commercials.

Versace, Bulgari and a Breast Pump

December 20, 2018 ·

You know I couldn’t stay away from this topic! It’s just too juicy. Shedding some light on another controversial natural occurrence is breastfeeding, and it’s a touchy subject with a lot of people. Why? Well, you know just like having gray hair it’s weird and makes people feel uncomfortable, yet it’s natural. Go figure.

Rachel McAdams an actress that kept most of her pregnancy under the covers has slowly been talking publicly about her seven-month-old. Rachael appears on the cover of Girls, Girls, Girls a leading independent editorial women’s fashion magazine. Instead of going on and on about how feeding a baby from a breast freaks people out I am going to let the photographer and Girls, Girls Girls publication founder Claire Rothstein take it from here.
One look at Claire’s Instagram feed that is oozing with female sexuality, elegance and fierce attitude will have you captivated. Her Instagram caption on the photo she took of Rachel is everything.

View this post on Instagram

A million reasons why I wanted to post this picture. Obviously #rachelmcadams looks incredible and was quite literally the dream to work with but also this shoot was about 6 months post her giving birth to her son, so between shots she was expressing/pumping as still breastfeeding. We had a mutual appreciation disagreement about who’s idea it was to take this picture but I’m still sure it was hers which makes me love her even more. Breastfeeding is the most normal thing in the world and I can’t for the life of me imagine why or how it is ever frowned upon or scared of. I don’t even think it needs explaining but just wanted to put this out there, as if it even changes one person’s perception of something so natural, so normal, so amazing then that’s great. Besides she’s wearing Versace and @bulgariofficial diamonds and is just fucking major. Big shout out to all the girls 💪🏽 #rachelmcadams for @girls.girls.girls.magazine cover shoot 📸 @clairerothstein #pleaseshare Side note: I did not look anywhere near as fabulous as this when feeding/pumping. And that’s ok too. Stylist: @alicialombardini 👠 . #girlsgirlsgirlsmag #girlsgirlsgirls #bringingbackthewoman #nogrungejustglamour #independentmagazine #printisnotdead #normalisebreastfeeding #normalizebreastfeeding #breastfeeding #life #women #versace #bulgari

A post shared by Claire Rothstein Photographer (@clairerothstein) on Dec 18, 2018 at 1:11am PST

I love how Rachel looked raw and real plus ultra glamorous with and without the breast pump for this photo shoot. She radiates from within and shows the world that breastfeeding should be praised not shamed. I get that she had a complete stylist/hair and makeup team not to mention she was in designer clothes, BUT she chose to keep the breast pumps in the shot. It wasn’t a prop it was a real-life Mother working and trying to keep up with a newborn. This Ladies is precisely why I LOVE this photo shoot.

Why This Happened After The Victoria’s Secret Runway Show

December 5, 2018 ·

Like most of the world, I was excited to see the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on ABC the other night. I love the production aspect of the show, the musical talent, the adorned angel wings, the flowy silky material cascading off the model’s bodies but this show struck me as a little stale, behind the times and not empowering women.

The opening song was by Lelea James, a gorgeous singer that belted out the song “This is Me.” A song about being yourself and not letting people break you down. Great choice by Victoria’s Secret executives but that’s where the women empowerment stopped.

Model after model was an unrealistic size 2 (what’s new?), and max age twenty-two OK maybe there was a model that could be pushing twenty-five but you get the picture. I was waiting for the diversity to pop out behind the stage with wings pointed to the high heavens but it didn’t happen.

I thought well maybe Lelea will rip off that red dress she’s wearing and have this magnificent ensemble on????? Wait, they had to have booked Maye Musk because she’s killing it at seventy but sadly NO. Where were the over forty models heck over seventy models WHERE WERE THEY? NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.

I sat there and thought does Victoria’s Secret a lingerie company that makes everything from sleepwear to bustiers believe that women over forty are not their customers? Or would the argument be that the world doesn’t want to see older women in lingerie walking down a runway? Ahhhhhh Houston I think we have a problem. How can we as women relate to a show about femininity, come as you are, break the barriers when the entire show is one dimensional?

I woke up the next morning thinking maybe I missed the plus size girls or did they rock it with some gray-haired models? I texted my girlfriend to double check before I posted anything on Instagram. Then this happened.

So I am not the only one that thought there was something wrong with the show? So proud of these girls for speaking up and doing their thing right in the middle of Times Square. Bravo!

Excerpt from the New York Post article:

The Siberia native and former “America’s Next Top Model” contestant came up with the idea of staging a guerrilla-style fashion show as a response to the less-than-inclusive Victoria’s Secret lingerie event.

Kazakova told The Post, “I was talking with my friends like, ‘Oh my gosh, it makes me feel horrible.’ A lot of people feel unattractive after watching it.”

Again, we need companies that we buy from supporting women of all ages, hair colors and sizes. Lingerie is not just for models that have a hip measurement of thirty-two but for all women to feel that they too can be sexy, demure, confident insert whatever adjective makes you happy.

I am so tired of this one-sided view of beauty. Nothing will ever change unless women speak up and ask for change. Yes, that’s right Ladies, you have to ask for it to see anything change. You want a raise ASK FOR IT, you want to change the way your PTA meetings are held ASK FOR IT, you don’t like the way your landlord speaks to you SAY SOMETHING. I don’t sit back and say well, I guess that’s just the way it is going to be right now. I get involved and stand up for myself. Ignite your power, make the decision and do it.

This aging issue is so big and has been happening for so long that it will take women on a mission to move the limited thinking on age. Just like the bold women in Times Square that made a statement so can you. I want to make myself very clear here this blog post is about the aging issue and how society views women that are aging. This is not about a “Me Too” movement or a march nor is it about wanting to be younger, thinner or jealous of these models. I had my glory days being an international model and walking the runway for many designers worldwide. I am showing up representing women that are aging, letting their hair go gray and keeping their voice alive. There is nothing wrong with a forty-year-old or an eighty-year-old on a Victoria Secret runway. I would love to know who is making the final cut on these models? Is it all women? Men and women? Or just men?

I know one thing for sure if a modeling agent sent Winnie Harlow the first model to walk Victoria’s Secret runway with Vitiligo (a skin disease where you lose the pigment in your skin) to the casting five years ago she would have never been considered. I can say this from my experience being a model and traveling the globe. If you so much as had a pimple on your face forget it they would say NEXT much less an issue where the pigment of your skin is lost creating large white areas on dark skin. The modeling industry has always been extremely harsh and there is no room for imperfection. It might not seem this way now since we see companies using plus-size models to transgender models, but the industry was not so forgiving just years prior.

Congratulations to women like Winnie and the plus-size women in Times Square that are boldly showing up in the world despite the strict “must be perfect” box.

How to Stay Fit Over 40

November 5, 2018 ·

You might have seen on my Insta-Stories the other day that I met a woman who had an unbelievably toned smokin body and then she dropped the bomb that she was seventy-one years old. I immediately thought can I hire you as my trainer? Maybe I can get her to write a workout program for me?

She has almost thirty years on me, and she looks like one strong powerhouse! I decided at that very moment that I better pull it together if I want to look like her when I am seventy-one. Her body was lean, toned and it wasn’t about plastic surgery. She told me that she works out at Orange Theory Fitness and Ladies, that’s fierce.

You are probably wondering why I am wearing sunglasses and a red lip while working out right? When you have silver hair, you can do whatever you want. I even didn’t shave my Greek stomach hair because I don’t think it matters does it?

Oh, I am sure there are plenty of women out there that will say something about that happy little trail. I ~~think~~ know there is beauty in what everyone takes and shames away. Now, have I always thought this hair on my stomach was beautiful? No, but I feel after you go through extremely challenging trials with your body what’s a little hair on your belly?

I started thinking that my body is the only thing I have any real control over in this world. I decide what I eat, drink and slather all over it, no one else does. Maintaining a fit physique doesn’t just happen it takes work to see incredible results. Not many people are up for putting in the time, discipline and sweat it takes to reap the toned and sculpted rewards.

Lucky for me, I have always been into working out and enjoy the challenge of pushing myself to new levels physically. Do I love every second of my workouts? Some days I do and others I would like to pull the covers over my head and pretend I am not alive.

When I was young, I was very active in playing soccer, tennis, and softball. As a teenager, I was drawn to the leotards and step aerobics then working out in the gym. I will admit in the 90’s I did buy Suzanne Sommers “Thigh Master.” Secretly I think that thing worked and toned my thighs.

As an adult kick-boxing was my jam, then I fell in love with spinning. I can’t tell you how many creative ideas have come to me in the hour spinning classes I have taken. Being active is a part of who I am. When I have stressful days, only a workout can reset my body and my attitude. It’s honestly a lifesaver. I made staying active a priority, and it became a habit.

It goes without saying that I put my body through hell when I fought to get pregnant with every IVF cycle, nine to be exact. Not only did I inject truckloads of synthetic hormones for four years but I altered the actual shape of my body. It’s unsettling to see the strange changes that synthetic hormones do to your body from the amount of hair growth to the inches on your thighs that appear practically overnight.

When you are a human science experiment like I was it’s incredible how out of whack your body can get and takes years to recover. I feel a responsibility to my body to stay in shape, eat right and work out because of everything I put my body through trying to get pregnant.

I am not obsessive with working out, but I do make the time every morning to power walk with my Frenchie then get in the gym for a Peloton session or my favorite cardio with the slide board. If you don’t know about the slide board you should, it’s a game changer for your butt, thighs, and legs.

Are you are sitting back reading this blog post and feeling bad about yourself because you haven’t worked out in years? This is your push. It’s time that you decided to get off your heinie and hire a trainer, sign up for a spin class, get your girlfriend to walk with you before or after work, make your dog your workout partner. The time is now, decide to push yourself and do it.

Dig deep because when you are out of your workout game, it is incredibly hard to start up again. My eye surgery this past summer derailed my working out, but once I got back into my groove, it was like I never took a little hiatus.

Here are my five top tips to stay in shape after forty:

Be realistic with yourself: Don’t try and run a marathon if you haven’t trained. Find a workout that makes you happy whether that is Pilates, yoga or walking on the beach or in the cold brisk mountains. It’s not about fitting into what you see in Shape magazine it’s about what makes you wake up in the morning.
Plan out your meals: Don’t wait until the very last minute when you are starving and about to eat anything and everything in sight. Set Sunday’s for your breakfast, lunch, and dinner planning each week. I just signed up for Martha Stewarts Meal Delivery Service to take the stress off of having to create exciting meals each week. I will do a review on what I thought of the quality and ease of making the meals later this month.
Set Goals: Where do you see yourself in one month, six months, one year from now physically? Map out your exercise plan and set mini goals. Once achieved reward yourself with something that makes you happy from a blow out at DryBar (one of my favorite things to do) or a delicious glass of wine. You deserve to celebrate yourself and reaching your fitness goals.
Find a partner: This can be your husband, girlfriend or someone you meet at the gym. Having a workout partner gives you a little push on the mornings where you want to hit the snooze button a million times.
Get involved: There are many ways you can find support with other women just like you looking to be in their best shape. Gyms have fun contests and programs that make you push yourself; Facebook groups are an excellent way to connect with other women that are sharing tips and advice on getting into shape. Don’t see a group that fits what you like? Create one yourself.

There are many free apps now that you can download on your phone that gives you personalized workouts. YouTube has excellent videos from simple exercises to the full-on CrossFit training. In the world we live in now you can’t make an excuse for not working out.

No time? Well, there are time management apps for that too or how about hiring a virtual assistant? See, I told you No Excuses. What’s your favorite workout to do? Share in the comments below I am always looking to add something new to my routine.

Your Power Move

October 29, 2018 ·

I reflected on my gray hair journey a lot over the last year writing my first book Beauty Reinvented available December 1st, 2018. I second-guessed my decision to go gray probably a thousand times a day. I got so fed up with allowing myself to feel weak that I made my POWER MOVE. I walked right into my gray hair journey like a woman that knew what she wanted even if I was still a little unsure of what I was doing. When you decide that you are committed to your gray hair journey you step into your power.

Owning my crazy gray hair and labeling it my Power Move made me feel as though I was in control when I felt everything but in control. Society, friends, your boss can make you shrink in your stiletto’s and have you feeling like you are making the biggest mistake of your life. “No Sally, why would you do that to your hair?” “Jane, are you kidding? You will look so old.” or how about your own limiting beliefs like I could never get that job if I had gray hair! I see it over and over again on my private Facebook group (Beauty Reinvented) women posting day after day about their friend, or Mother saying how old they will look if they let their hair go gray.

Enough with the low vibe thoughts, statements and letting people or strangers inside your power space. Own what you feel is right for your life. The biggest point I want to make with you is that you are the one wearing the gray hair, YOU not them so whether you dye your hair or not it is your decision period.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

It’s funny how I went through infertility researching my way to a real diagnosis. I got thrown into this group of people labeled “unexplained infertility” what does that even mean “unexplained?’ What, you can’t explain it? After five hundred tests you still can’t explain it? Interesting (eye roll). I found out that “unexplained infertility” is not a real diagnosis the more appropriate description would be a lazy diagnosis. I heard day after day how I had “advanced maternal aging” labeled, labeled and just labeled. Then here comes the gray hair now I have to deal with yet another layer of labels. When is society going to wake up and start thinking for themselves? The entire world can’t possibly believe that gray hair means one thing “OLD” or does it?

Listening to your Mother ramble on about how your gray hair will make her feel older, society telling you that you just put one foot in the grave, or the stranger creeping up behind you at the grocery store running his mouth takes you out of your power. You give up your positive energy flow when you don’t think for yourself. You dye your hair because that is what the magazines are showing each month and what the TV commercials are telling you is beautiful. See that’s the issue ladies, I will say it again, it’s not about if you dye your hair or not. It’s about taking control of your life and listening to yourself on what you want to look like at this very moment. When you stop and take the time to listen to what you feel deep down inside, that is when you will find your personal power.

How is the thought of gray hair making you feel?

Do you feel liberated? Do you feel sad?

Do you feel like you can take over the world with your new hair sans the dye?

What makes you tick when it comes to your beauty?

Those are the questions I want you asking yourself today.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

Gray hair seems trivial in the big scheme of things with so much going on in the world today. But when you decide to let your silver shine your world can become very small, depressing and isolating. Where is your power then? How do you feel beautiful with silver hair when all you have known is black hair, brown hair, red or blonde?

Stop letting the world tell you how you should be wearing your hair. I don’t care if you are eighteen or eighty-eight silver, gray or white hair is a power move so Ladies, drop the baggage and step into your bold future.

Silver Sister Spotlight with Beth Djalali-Style at a Certain Age

September 15, 2018 ·

I can’t believe that it’s been two whole months since I last posted! I was busy working on my new fall lipstick collection that launched this month, writing my first book that will be available this holiday season. And Ladies there is more exciting news on a couple of BIG projects I will be announcing and sharing with you in the upcoming weeks, but today I am thrilled to feature Beth from the top-rated blog and YouTube channel Style at a Certain Age. Beth and I met through Instagram, and I had the pleasure of meeting Beth and her husband “Mr. Style” in real life this month for dinner. You might have caught our fun night out with our husbands if you follow me on Instagram I posted a Story of the two of us at one of South Florida’s most popular seafood restaurants on the beach.

I thought Beth was the perfect woman to feature on Beauty Reinvented not only because she is a Silver Sister but so many of you are looking for style advice as you transition into gray. Beth gives you solid, approachable fashion advice on her YouTube channel and total style eye candy on her Instagram feed. I love how she incorporates her classic style into everything she does from her Friday drink recipes to her Instagram stories. Make sure you sign up for her Newsletter, so you don’t miss out on any style inspiration.

Q: What age did you decide to let your hair go gray?

When I turned fifty, my stylist in Minneapolis suggested that the highlights we foiled in every three months or so were replicating my natural hair color. When she said let’s go
“au naturel,” I said yes, and never looked back.

Q: How did you find your niche in the fashion blogging world?

Well, I always call myself the accidental blogger as I found my way into the blogosphere through a book I wrote but didn’t get published. I did snag an agent who emphasized the importance of a social media presence for writers/authors. It took me two years before the light bulb went on to share my daily outfits through a blog and corresponding social channels. The twenty-year-olds were doing it why not a fifty-six-year-old? Who knew it would be so much fun?!

Q: You have lived all over the world, do you feel that living overseas has influenced your personal style?

Not having the opportunity to shop my favorite brands helped me to become creative with the items already hanging in my closet. When I came back to the States for a yearly visit, I learned to power shop a skill that serves me well as a style blogger. On the plus side, I had access to some amazing tailors and affordable tailor-made clothes while living in Asia. That was a game-changer!

Q: What are the three must-have fashion pieces every woman over forty should own?

Blazer, blue jeans, and a fabulous handbag.

Q: What wardrobe colors work best for women with gray hair?

Oh gosh, that’s a hard question as I don’t feel as if I wear outfits based on colors. Don’t get me wrong; I knew there are certain colors that suit my coloring better than other colors. But I love brown and still wear it. I guess you’d say I like coloring outside the lines.

Q: What makes you “tick” when it comes to fashion?

I am a classic style girl through and through and have been since my teens. But I’ve learned to keep my classic outfits looking fresh and modern instead of stodgy and stale with accessories. Scarves, shoes, belts, handbags, and jewelry that are tied to the trends help!

A big thank you to Beth for sharing some of her style tips with us today and don’t forget to follow her on her blog, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook for up to the minute style. Remember we have a lot of support on my private Facebook group “Beauty Reinvented” so come on over and join us we would love to support you. Until next time Ladies, Stay Fierce!

Transparency In a Social Nation

May 1, 2018 ·

Look up the definition of transparency, and you get “the condition of being transparent.” OK, so what does that mean? I think in our new social media distorted nation no one knows what transparency means anymore. Transparency means being yourself? Being true to your values? Letting the world/strangers/followers see YOU as a hot mess on certain days, living room/kitchen/bathroom, not Instagram perfect? Being truly real as in no filter on yourself, your words, your personality?

I don’t know how we got so far away from being real but what I do know is that I wasn’t genuinely transparent when I first started out on YouTube in 2010. I felt I had to be this “perfect” beauty guru, look a certain way, do videos like everyone else, make my life seem so amazing it was draining and made me very unhappy. From 2010 to 2014 I was doing the same thing everyone else was doing just with my twist on beauty videos it wasn’t until the fire aka infertility got so hot under me that I couldn’t keep up the “my life is ah-mazing” façade. It was a scary place to be not knowing if I wanted my true story, my true self to come out and meet the perfect social media world but I did. I came out of the “my life is perfect” in December of 2014 and shared with the world why I couldn’t keep up with my videos and blogging production. Can we say UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!

It was at this time I started a separate blog called “Not Just A Beauty Blogger” and YouTube channel to document my infertility journey because again I didn’t want to turn people off on my main Fresh Beauty Studio blog with real-life struggles. I went through my first four years of making beauty videos on YouTube with little interaction from my followers it was almost like an abyss, one big black hole of silence until I became transparent and real.

The moment I opened up and told my truth about my life, not the so-called “perfect” life that’s when I found my tribe of women that supported me, could relate to me and gave me the strength to keep going through IVF. I made connections to women from all over the world, I met some of these women in person and had developed beautiful friendships. I am still in contact with many of these women today. On my fourth IVF cycle, I decided enough was enough with the hair dye, and I made the bold decision to allow myself to go gray at forty. Ladies, I get it IVF is not for everyone, going gray is not for everyone, but that was what was happening to me so I could either keep fighting it, covering up, trying to be someone I wasn’t or allow. There is a lot to learn about acceptance and letting go when it comes to your life. It’s not easy or painless, but there is beauty in both.

Two years after deciding to let my gray hair shine I found another fantastic tribe of women that supported me. All the women that feel the same way I do about dying their hair and wanting to break free from societies beauty rules showed up on my YouTube video My Gray Hair Journey. Since then I have connected with amazing women all over the world that is going gray, wanting to go gray or wanting support with aging. I feature one of my readers each week on my blog called Silver Sister Spotlight. None of this would have happened if I pretended my life was perfect, pretended that I didn’t struggle, pretended that I was someone I wasn’t.

“This is ME a forty-two-year-old woman with gray hair being raw and real.” Nikol Johnson

It’s overwhelming scrolling and swiping through social media just to see everyone being paid to push a product or service. I don’t know who to believe anymore with #ad, #sponsored we are so inundated with the pressure to buy, look a specific way, swipe up. Why are you valued on the number below your name, how ridiculous is that? A number makes you valuable to a company? To yourself? How did we get so far away from what matters? A digit doesn’t define you as worthy especially when a lot of these so-called numbers are just smoke and mirrors. I have these conversations a lot with my clients and friends. Some of them have decided that it’s not worth their mental health to keep seeing fake and unrealistic visuals on a daily basis, so they have taken a break from social media. The question is: Where are the thought leaders? Why is everyone doing the same thing and pushing the latest “It” top or butt enhancing pads because a company is paying them? Do they even like the top, skin care cream or butt plumping pads (sorry I have to laugh)? There is no originality in doing that. I recently read an article in the New York Times about how celebrities, politicians, and want-to-be influencers are buying followers; I mean seriously where is the transparency?

Why did I choose to post a picture of myself in a bra and underwear for this blog post? I have nothing to hide, it’s untouched, no fake eyelashes, minimal makeup, no self-tanner, not filtered, authentic, just ME. I am breaking away from what social media says is beautiful. I could sit here and pick apart the entire photo based on Instagram guidelines, but I choose to represent women in a new light. This real woman is me, a forty-two-year-old with gray hair that works hard to achieve a healthy lifestyle and bring my followers authentic and transparent content. I turn down companies every day that want to send me free product in return for a video or blog post. I don’t do that never have and never will. I find no value in spending time and effort creating blog posts or videos just for the sake of writing a blog post/video because a company gave me free products. I research and use products that I want to use, that I find beneficial to my skin, body, and mind. I reach out or accept companies products that are in line with my values, vision, and brand.

I don’t know if the way we look at beauty, ourselves, other women will ever be the same because of social media and how warped it has become. I know one thing to be real, I am committed to showing up in this world as my true self and honoring my unique style and delivering valuable raw content to my readers no matter what my virtual numbers say.

How To Get a Gray Attitude

April 25, 2018 ·

Ladies I get it, going gray is not fun no matter what your age. All the stereotypical statements go through your head that people say from “I am so old,” “Grandma Hair,” “Frumpy old lady.” You name it you’re thinking it. So what are you to do? Default to what society says is beautiful and young? Allow your negative self-talk to keep you from being true to yourself? Or keep on dying your hair, so it looks entirely unnatural for your age? Maybe give up and add more toxins every two weeks so that you can feel accepted? I think NOT.

I know gray hair is not for everyone, but I don’t think I need to remind everyone that Beauty Reinvented is all about women that WANT to go gray.

Photo Credit; Rick Gomez Photography

When you are feeling down, and very unattractive how do you pick yourself back up and get in the game? How do you feel confident when all your peers are sporting golden locks or rich chestnut hair? I have created a list for you ladies to print out and post to your mirror or somewhere you will see it on a daily basis. I am your biggest cheerleader because I felt everything you are feeling. I didn’t have a gray-haired role model that did videos or wrote a blog about it when I was first going through this crazy gray transition over two years ago.

When your gray hair journey gets hard, and you are at your last dark hair strand NOW that’s when you need to push for your gray and own it even more. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “This too shall pass.” Ladies, it’s a hair color that means nothing except for a bold, fierce and downright powerful attitude. If you dyed your hair pink, purple or green like a lot of women, not just teens are doing do you think anyone would care? So why do they care about gray? Think about that for a second.

Here is the plan, read this list below, print it out to give yourself the encouragement you need to get through each day. I promise you it gets more comfortable you have to commit and not look back.

I designed a couple of hats like the one I am wearing in this photo that is available on my website. Perfect for the days where you are just like I can’t take it anymore. It’s a fashionable statement to help you through the growing out period. You have seen me wearing this hat a lot on my Instagram. I love how I make a statement without having to say a word.

Ladies with a Gray Attitude

April 18, 2018 ·

Let’s face it you have to have a fierce attitude when you go gray. Now, this is not a negative attitude, it’s not an unattractive attitude it’s an attitude that shows confidence and self-worth.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

From my experience, I felt very uncomfortable when I first decided to ditch the dye. I would look in the mirror and separate my hair and say OMG what are you thinking? What are you doing? I would flip through magazines and see hair campaigns with girls my age sporting gorgeous brunette glossy locks and then I would see commercials with girls in slow motion running with their beautiful freshly dyed hair waving at me. I felt so alone, so weird and so unattractive. Can you relate?

“When Society Says NO, You Say YES!”

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

In life, we all know the saying it’s not what happens to you it’s how you handle it or something along those lines. I decided to start looking at myself as lucky, lucky that I had hair, lucky my hair was gray, lucky that I could be an inspiration to other women wanting to embrace their gray hair. That’s when it all changed for me and my gray hair and I became friends. How long did this take? Probably a good year into the transition. What made my hair journey so much easier is that I didn’t try and stay the same with the style of my hair. I cut it to a chic bob and kept cutting it every six weeks so the black dye would quickly disappear. You can’t half-ass going gray you are either in or out. There is no “Let me kind of see how this looks” or “Oh I will just do gray a little bit.” Cut your hair and get over it. It’s not cute to have hair on the ground and gray roots that will never catch up. That’s, where the fierce part comes in you, have to grab your personal gray movement by the roots and go for it. Ladies hair does not define you and cutting your hair is a necessity to your gray hair journey.

“You Can’t Half-Ass Going Gray, You Are Either In or Out.” Nikol Johnson

Maybe you have a boyfriend, spouse or partner that is not supportive. You and only you have to Own Your Beauty. Your gray hair journey is not for anyone else to decide Period. You are running this race no one else. So if you don’t have a support system head on over to my private Facebook group called Beauty Reinvented and join the other ladies that are going through the same thing you are. Remember it all starts from within.

Creating Personal Style with Gray Hair

March 28, 2018 ·

Going gray is a bold move, it’s not the most comfortable transition. So many thoughts run through your mind, “Am I old now?” “What are people going to think?” “Does this mean I can’t have fun?” “What are people going to say?” I have been there and had all the thoughts you do. It doesn’t matter if you are in your thirties taking the leap or you are in your eighties gray hair has a particular emotional tie to the age that none of us can escape.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

Going gray means you need to transition into a new style. You need to look at your hairstyle, your nails, your makeup colors, your wardrobe style and colors. If you see this transformation as an upgrade an adventure to the new you I guarantee you will have a good time. If you look at your gray hair in a negative light and feel that change is hard and not worth it, then you will have a hard time going through this process.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

I styled this Escada jumpsuit specifically for this photo shoot to show you that being bold is a choice. One could say that I am in my forties now and it’s inappropriate to wear such a deep plunging neckline, and some could say that I am too old to pull off this style. It’s what you say to yourself that matters. Do you think it’s inappropriate? Do you think you are too old? That’s what matters. If you have been following me for awhile, you know my style is classic I mostly wear Ferragamo, Oscar de la Renta, Escada with a JCrew T-Shirt or St. John knit suit thrown in there. My basic daily uniform to go to work in is a Ferragamo scarf with a black top and black slacks. I would wear this Escada jumpsuit to an elegant cocktail party any day.

“Why Be Status Quo?” ~Nikol Johnson

How do you feel about your style right now? Is your closet overflowing with clothes that are outdated, worn, frumpy, too big, too small? What does your wardrobe look like? What does your wardrobe say about you? Can you walk into your closet and say you feel that every piece is fantastic? I can, because I spent the last year curating my dream wardrobe. I bought a bunch of books to help me figure out this process from The Curated Closet, The Little Black Book of Style to 365 Style. It takes time and patience to understand the woman you want to be and dress.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

Personal style is an art. Once you master the techniques of smarter purchasing, being a more selective shopper and making the most of your budget you will never look back. I would walk into my closet each morning and take inventory of what I didn’t love. I would make mental notes until I was ready to pull the items and either donate or consign. Speaking of consignment I started selling my closet on PoshMark in June of 2016 and to date, I have sold over $2,800. I have taken the money that I earned selling items from my closet and invested in classic designer pieces. Shopping doesn’t have to be complicated when you take the time to have your entire wardrobe be only clothes that are high quality, fit you properly not only look amazing you feel like you can take on the world.

Gray hair changes your style game because what you once wore and worked for you most probably won’t work now with your new gray/silver/white hair color. Why be status quo? Why not make a plan and set some styling goals. Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself that will help you design your style from The Curated Closet.

What was your favorite outfit that you wore during the last two weeks and why? How did that outfit make you feel?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy were you overall with your outfits during these past two weeks?
Describe your style in three adjectives.
How easy is it for you to choose an outfit in the morning?
What type of occasions do you have to dress for?

Out of all the books I read, I would highly recommend The Curated Closet it’s a simple system designed for you to quickly discover your style. I found it incredibly helpful and easy to implement.

Ladies if you are going gray and want to rock it you have to take a look at your style. Spring is the perfect time to upgrade and refresh your entire wardrobe. Make every outfit celebrate your unique personality.