Silver Sister Spotlight with Shelly

May 4, 2018 ·

For Our Silver Sister Spotlight, this week is on ‘Dr. Shelly,’ a college professor who teaches undergraduate and graduate students in the fields of instructional design, adult learning, and instructional technology at a large Midwestern university in the U.S. She is married to her high school sweetheart and best friend, whom she met when she was just 14. “We have two beautiful children that I adore with all my heart, both teenagers.” Her latest hobby is training her first-ever pup – a Goldendoodle named Ted – to become a therapy dog at the local Children’s Hospital. “Just looking at Teddie makes people chuckle; I hope he can bring joy to the children and momentarily allow them to escape their illnesses.” She also enjoys just about anything outdoors, including her butterfly garden, snorkeling in tropical waters, yoga, hiking, boating, and relaxing at the family’s lakefront cottage.

I was so taken back when I found Shelly on Instagram because her hair is so dramatic, fierce and tells a story. It takes a strong woman to bravely embrace her gray hair transition. Shelly reminds me of a mix between an extraordinary woman that was in my life when I was a child and Julia Roberts. When you look at Shelly’s gray hair journey documented on Instagram the beginning pictures have a lot of weight and uncertainty to them. As Shelly progresses, embraces and allows her hair to almost develop like a butterfly you can see the pure light that radiates within her. Bold, Fierce and Owning her beauty. Ladies, this too will happen to you. I am so happy that Shelly agreed to be featured on Beauty Reinvented, her hair has a story to tell, and we can learn so much from her journey.

Q: At what age did you start seeing gray hair and what made you decide to ditch the dye?

I saw my first gray hair when I was 18 years old. Without blinking an eye, I bought a hair dye kit, and that was the beginning of three decades of dying. At that young age, it was already programmed in me that gray hair was something to hide. We must change this mindset. I found my daughter’s first silver hair last month. I have encouraged her to think about not coloring her hair, should more silvers appear. Let’s encourage our beautiful daughters to love their whole selves to be confident in who they are, not in who society tells them they should be.

Q: You have a very powerful transformation. How did you feel when you started seeing the white roots?

I was admittedly horrified. Society has deeply entrenched us to think that silver hair on women is unattractive, yet men are more distinguished with their gray hair. It is ingrained in women that gray hair is ‘old, ugly, shameful and that we should go to great lengths to hide it.’ I have made significant strides in my evolution of how I perceive hair color. I now see the white, silver, brown and steely gray as unique and now that I am 11 months into my journey, see a complete picture of what the end will look like and I cannot wait! There is no one else in this world that has my unique blend of natural highlights and lowlights. I am 100% unique now! No more hiding, no more shame. It feels so good just to accept it and move on.

Q: Did you find that society was shocked by your decision to be authentic with your hair color?

I was really worked up about what people would think, but the truth is, people truly do not care about other people’s hair. Most ignore it. Some are confused. Some think it is intentionally dyed to look this way. One man said, “Wow, you must have paid a fortune for that hair color!” I have heard a couple of ignorant comments. But what I love most is when I catch another woman glancing at the new hair growing out of my head because when she smiles back at me, I am 100% certain I have encountered another Silver Sister in the making, and I hope I have given her pause to consider accepting her silvers.

Q: What do people say to you about your hair?

I have had more compliments in the past year than I have ever had in my entire life put together! One woman chased me down in a furniture store to tell me how gorgeous she thought my hair was, and she ended it with “And I’m a hair stylist so I should know!” Random women and men have stopped me to tell me they like my hair. I stand out now. I am different than any other woman I know in my age bracket. I am a Silver Sister who has broken that bloody awful cycle of dying my hair and feeling the need to dye my hair every week because of the white halo that emerged about five days after every dye. What kind of quality of life is that? Every seven days I was embarrassed to go out because my roots were visible and it looked awful. I have had a humiliating year at times with a really awful demarcation line, but it was worth the trade because I am free now, and empowered. I am no longer held down. I have a greater quality of life, and I have so much more time to enjoy my life because I have broken this vicious dye cycle. I lived for the dye. It dictated my life. It was like a drug that I needed a hit off of to make me feel good. I am coming up on my “Silver Anniversary” – the one year mark of having a healthier body and mind since ditching the dye. I am so happy to be in this place.

Q: You have mentioned in your Instagram posts that your body became very ill from the toxic dye. Can you tell us what symptoms you had?

My body started to systemically reject hair dye in ways one would never directly correlate with hair dye; and now that I no longer dye, my symptoms have almost all disappeared. It started with digestive symptoms and food intolerances a few years ago and then moved to eczema of the eye. Every time I colored my hair, my scalp burned for days. After my last professional salon dye 14 months ago, my scalp was so damaged that every time I brushed my hair, electrical shocks were sent to my eye. Within 24 hours of my last home dye on May 6, 2017, my body went into anaphylactic shock, and for days I carried an Epi-pen with me, even slept with it, I was so fearful. I could not eat anything without my body reacting; my body was red, swollen and itchy; my scalp on fire; my heart raced for weeks every time I ingested any food or drink. I honestly thought that my hair was going to kill me. My body was outraged, and it finally drew the line in the sand. Enough was enough. (And no thank you to all who have recommended the natural, organic hair dyes. I’m done!)

Our skin is our biggest organ, and when you make it absorb the toxic chemical frequently found in darker hair dyes, Paraphenylenediamine (PPD), it can have a dangerous impact. I fear the damage I have done to my body with dying my hair so regularly, and for so long, as it has been linked to cancer (American Cancer Society, 2018). Educate yourselves before starting or continuing on this journey. There are options!

Q: How have you dealt with the anxiety and self-doubt that gray hair brings?

I do believe that “gray anxiety” exists and it can be depressing, debilitating, and frightening for some. We have started a gray revolution because we want to empower women to embrace who they are, to reform beauty standards, and to learn to accept and love themselves as they are. I think many women mourn their youth so ditching the dye in a way, becomes symbolic of accepting we are growing older, that we are not immortal. And similar to mourning, I think there are stages we must work through on our journeys – shock, sadness, depression, and eventually, acceptance.

After recognizing that “shaming” my hair in front of my kids was only perpetuating societal views on going gray, I refrained from speaking negatively about my hair ever again. I relied heavily on my biggest supporter, my husband, who tells me every day how beautiful he thinks I am. I decided to be openly gray this time and never used the temporary hair colors to diffuse the demarcation line; for me, it made going public even harder after hiding and then revealing the hair again. I also found great strength in the Silver Sisters who are part of my Instagram family. They are the most evolved, loving, compassionate, and supportive women. They are a close-knit group; they accept you when you fail, shower you with love when you need it, inspire you with their confidence; and humble you with their honesty and vulnerability. Many of the Silver Sisters are professional models, who are showing the world it’s okay to age; it’s okay to be gray. Nikol, you are one of these women. Thank you for your inspiration to the gray revolution and reinventing beauty!

For more inspiring pictures follow Dr. Shelley on Instagram @ Silvertransitions.

Transparency In a Social Nation

May 1, 2018 ·

Look up the definition of transparency, and you get “the condition of being transparent.” OK, so what does that mean? I think in our new social media distorted nation no one knows what transparency means anymore. Transparency means being yourself? Being true to your values? Letting the world/strangers/followers see YOU as a hot mess on certain days, living room/kitchen/bathroom, not Instagram perfect? Being truly real as in no filter on yourself, your words, your personality?

I don’t know how we got so far away from being real but what I do know is that I wasn’t genuinely transparent when I first started out on YouTube in 2010. I felt I had to be this “perfect” beauty guru, look a certain way, do videos like everyone else, make my life seem so amazing it was draining and made me very unhappy. From 2010 to 2014 I was doing the same thing everyone else was doing just with my twist on beauty videos it wasn’t until the fire aka infertility got so hot under me that I couldn’t keep up the “my life is ah-mazing” façade. It was a scary place to be not knowing if I wanted my true story, my true self to come out and meet the perfect social media world but I did. I came out of the “my life is perfect” in December of 2014 and shared with the world why I couldn’t keep up with my videos and blogging production. Can we say UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!

It was at this time I started a separate blog called “Not Just A Beauty Blogger” and YouTube channel to document my infertility journey because again I didn’t want to turn people off on my main Fresh Beauty Studio blog with real-life struggles. I went through my first four years of making beauty videos on YouTube with little interaction from my followers it was almost like an abyss, one big black hole of silence until I became transparent and real.

The moment I opened up and told my truth about my life, not the so-called “perfect” life that’s when I found my tribe of women that supported me, could relate to me and gave me the strength to keep going through IVF. I made connections to women from all over the world, I met some of these women in person and had developed beautiful friendships. I am still in contact with many of these women today. On my fourth IVF cycle, I decided enough was enough with the hair dye, and I made the bold decision to allow myself to go gray at forty. Ladies, I get it IVF is not for everyone, going gray is not for everyone, but that was what was happening to me so I could either keep fighting it, covering up, trying to be someone I wasn’t or allow. There is a lot to learn about acceptance and letting go when it comes to your life. It’s not easy or painless, but there is beauty in both.

Two years after deciding to let my gray hair shine I found another fantastic tribe of women that supported me. All the women that feel the same way I do about dying their hair and wanting to break free from societies beauty rules showed up on my YouTube video My Gray Hair Journey. Since then I have connected with amazing women all over the world that is going gray, wanting to go gray or wanting support with aging. I feature one of my readers each week on my blog called Silver Sister Spotlight. None of this would have happened if I pretended my life was perfect, pretended that I didn’t struggle, pretended that I was someone I wasn’t.

“This is ME a forty-two-year-old woman with gray hair being raw and real.” Nikol Johnson

It’s overwhelming scrolling and swiping through social media just to see everyone being paid to push a product or service. I don’t know who to believe anymore with #ad, #sponsored we are so inundated with the pressure to buy, look a specific way, swipe up. Why are you valued on the number below your name, how ridiculous is that? A number makes you valuable to a company? To yourself? How did we get so far away from what matters? A digit doesn’t define you as worthy especially when a lot of these so-called numbers are just smoke and mirrors. I have these conversations a lot with my clients and friends. Some of them have decided that it’s not worth their mental health to keep seeing fake and unrealistic visuals on a daily basis, so they have taken a break from social media. The question is: Where are the thought leaders? Why is everyone doing the same thing and pushing the latest “It” top or butt enhancing pads because a company is paying them? Do they even like the top, skin care cream or butt plumping pads (sorry I have to laugh)? There is no originality in doing that. I recently read an article in the New York Times about how celebrities, politicians, and want-to-be influencers are buying followers; I mean seriously where is the transparency?

Why did I choose to post a picture of myself in a bra and underwear for this blog post? I have nothing to hide, it’s untouched, no fake eyelashes, minimal makeup, no self-tanner, not filtered, authentic, just ME. I am breaking away from what social media says is beautiful. I could sit here and pick apart the entire photo based on Instagram guidelines, but I choose to represent women in a new light. This real woman is me, a forty-two-year-old with gray hair that works hard to achieve a healthy lifestyle and bring my followers authentic and transparent content. I turn down companies every day that want to send me free product in return for a video or blog post. I don’t do that never have and never will. I find no value in spending time and effort creating blog posts or videos just for the sake of writing a blog post/video because a company gave me free products. I research and use products that I want to use, that I find beneficial to my skin, body, and mind. I reach out or accept companies products that are in line with my values, vision, and brand.

I don’t know if the way we look at beauty, ourselves, other women will ever be the same because of social media and how warped it has become. I know one thing to be real, I am committed to showing up in this world as my true self and honoring my unique style and delivering valuable raw content to my readers no matter what my virtual numbers say.

Silver Sister Spotlight with Rhiannon

April 27, 2018 ·

I have decided Friday’s will be the day that I feature our Silver Sister Spotlight. I think it’s a great day to kick off the weekend and give you some hardcore inspiration. Today I am featuring the gorgeous Rhiannon not only is she rocking her gray hair journey as a young Mom she also has curly hair. I know so many of you struggle with gray and having unruly curly hair. Rhiannon shares with us in a bonus question what hair care products she uses to tame her curly hair.

Rhiannon is a Licensed Esthetician and Cosmetic Laser Technician but decided to stay at home for a while to focus on her kids and her health. Rhiannon will be celebrating her 15th wedding anniversary this year and is very excited about this milestone. Her husband’s support through her gray hair journey means the world to her. Rhiannon posts YouTube videos of her documented gray hair transition. She recently created an Instagram account to continue inspiring others as well as herself. Her followers love the fact that she’s not only growing her gray but that she is also a naturally curly girl. There is a demographic of women out there who are looking for ladies embracing both silver hair and curls, hence the title of her channel: Silver Curl Journey. Rhiannon hopes to be an example to her daughter, showing her that gray hair is ageless and beautiful. Head on over to Rhiannon’s YouTube Channel and Instagram and show her some Silver Sister support!

Q: When did you start seeing gray hair and what were your initial thoughts?

I remember the day I found my first gray hair. I was about 16-years-old, and at the time, I thought it was a rare strand of platinum blonde hair because it had no color. I actually plucked it right out of my head, twirled it into a circle and saved it in a velvet ring box. A few months later, I discovered another one of those colorless hairs in my head. That’s when I realized, “Oh wow. I’m getting gray hair already??”

Q: Did you have support from friends and family with your gray transition?

Oh yes. My husband had been encouraging me to grow out my naturally gray hair for at least a decade. Every time I had a baby, my gray hair would become more intense. He thought it was awesome, but I was having too much fun playing with vibrant highlights and fun box colors just to stop and be natural. When I finally decided to grow it out, he was ecstatic.

Q: As a young Mom do you find other Mother’s celebrating your decision to go gray?

You know, it’s hard to tell. Some of the questions I was getting, in the beginning, seemed very superficial. People thought I was going through a phase. They would ask how long I planned on growing it, whether I liked it or not, etc. It wasn’t until very recently that I finally started receiving what I recognize to be genuine compliments.

Q: You have some very hip and trendy gray hairstyles from braids to super sleek tell us about your personal style.

Oh, thank you! I try to be creative because I do become bored very quickly with my hair. Hence the reason I played with hair color for 20 years. My style is more about simplicity than anything else. My kids have hectic schedules, which means I am always on the go. So whatever I can do in 10 minutes or less is my goal. I hardly ever wear makeup, but when I do, it only takes me a few minutes to apply it. You won’t catch this girl contouring and ‘baking’ her foundation! Ha! I have naturally curly hair, so the easiest thing for me to do is a wash-and-go style. I have no shame in rocking ponytails (synthetic ones are fun!), pigtails, baseball caps, or bandanas on days when I’m in a rush. In fact, I seem to get more compliments when I have my hair pulled all the way back, exposing the majority of my silver hair. That’s when braids come in handy. I braid my hair when I feel like I want a little attention. Haha!

Q: What advice would you give other women going through the first six months of not dying their hair?

Those first six months are the most eye-opening months for both yourself and the people around you. When you own it with cheerful confidence, everybody recognizes that as a type of beauty you didn’t even know exists, even if you look and the mirror and don’t see the beauty in yourself just yet. Your hair changing on the outside is kind of like that cocoon wrapping around that beautiful butterfly just waiting to be revealed. So hang in there! Once your transition is complete, you will feel like a new kind of beautiful. You will flutter around and attract all types of new people and adventures. I mean, look at me! I’m just a regular person who wanted to embrace her natural hair, and here I am being featured on the website of the very person whose videos inspired me to make this decision in the first place!

Q: Working with curly hair can you tell us what hair products you currently use and recommend?

Sure! I use sulfate-free, silicone-free products. My current favorite brand is Cantu. I’ve tried a couple of others, but my hair texture and curl pattern didn’t agree with them as much as they agree with Cantu. If I could sample every curly girl product out there, I would! I just haven’t had the chance to experiment some more. I recommend trying anything and everything until you find what works for you. Some curls do well with silicones and a little sulfate. I don’t believe in a one-size-fits-all method for curls. However, for those with curly silver hair, it is an absolute MUST to avoid too much heat (flat irons, etc.) and to use colorless products. Any cream or oil tinted with even the slightest shade of brown or yellow will stain our lovely white strands and dull the overall appearance of our hair. When and if that happens, there are plenty of purple shampoos that will help correct it. 🙂

How To Get a Gray Attitude

April 25, 2018 ·

Ladies I get it, going gray is not fun no matter what your age. All the stereotypical statements go through your head that people say from “I am so old,” “Grandma Hair,” “Frumpy old lady.” You name it you’re thinking it. So what are you to do? Default to what society says is beautiful and young? Allow your negative self-talk to keep you from being true to yourself? Or keep on dying your hair, so it looks entirely unnatural for your age? Maybe give up and add more toxins every two weeks so that you can feel accepted? I think NOT.

I know gray hair is not for everyone, but I don’t think I need to remind everyone that Beauty Reinvented is all about women that WANT to go gray.

Photo Credit; Rick Gomez Photography

When you are feeling down, and very unattractive how do you pick yourself back up and get in the game? How do you feel confident when all your peers are sporting golden locks or rich chestnut hair? I have created a list for you ladies to print out and post to your mirror or somewhere you will see it on a daily basis. I am your biggest cheerleader because I felt everything you are feeling. I didn’t have a gray-haired role model that did videos or wrote a blog about it when I was first going through this crazy gray transition over two years ago.

When your gray hair journey gets hard, and you are at your last dark hair strand NOW that’s when you need to push for your gray and own it even more. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “This too shall pass.” Ladies, it’s a hair color that means nothing except for a bold, fierce and downright powerful attitude. If you dyed your hair pink, purple or green like a lot of women, not just teens are doing do you think anyone would care? So why do they care about gray? Think about that for a second.

Here is the plan, read this list below, print it out to give yourself the encouragement you need to get through each day. I promise you it gets more comfortable you have to commit and not look back.

I designed a couple of hats like the one I am wearing in this photo that is available on my website. Perfect for the days where you are just like I can’t take it anymore. It’s a fashionable statement to help you through the growing out period. You have seen me wearing this hat a lot on my Instagram. I love how I make a statement without having to say a word.

Silver Sister Spotlight with Hillary

April 20, 2018 ·

The silver sister circle gets smaller, meet Hillary a gorgeous woman that lives in my backyard (well, not literally) but here in Miami! The funny thing is is that Hillary and I have shot with the same photographer (Yes, the fantastic photographer that does all my photo shoots) but we have never met! How crazy is that! We met through Instagram so ladies this shows you the power of social media and connecting. Hillary and I are working on something extraordinary for all of you so keep checking back to the blog for updates. Don’t forget to show Hillary some love and follow her on Instagram.

Hillary is a native New Yorker and went to the Fashion Institue of Technology. After graduating from F.I.T., she was a senior buyer at Bergdorf Goodman for over ten years. Hillary modeled for a short period as a teenager but was told she wasn’t the right “All American” look. Fast forward to her adult life, Hillary married an Ambassador to Cuba, Belgium, and Uruguay which led to being overseas until 2009 when she moved to Miami.

Hilary reentered the modeling world at age 50! She went to an audition for a Zumba dancer and not only booked it but was used for all advertising of the Zumba Gold program. From there she was encouraged to pursue agents etc., and she did. Hillary is represented worldwide, and it’s been almost five years as a full-time model. She has several TV commercials running at the moment along with ads for fitness, health, and beauty. Hillary says she loves the creativity of this business, but you also need to deal with an enormous amount of rejection- something people often don’t realize.

Q: Tell us when you first started seeing gray hair.

A: I first started seeing my gray hair as early as my mid-20’s! My hair was naturally very dark, so they stood out. I loved it and thought it looked like strands of tinsel. I never thought about covering them up. By the time I turned 40, I was indeed salt and pepper.

Q: What made you decide to go gray?

A: I decided to keep my gray because I loved being unique and I think it appealed to my rebellious side. With each negative comment I received (and there were many) it only made me more determined to stay true to my personal choice – not what the beauty industry and society dictated.
Going gray is not for the timid-it is a bold statement. Twenty years ago the internet was new, and there wasn’t an online gray hair support community or chat groups- no info about the process, products to use, etc. Now it is so much easier and beautiful to connect worldwide with like-minded women “The Silver Sisters.”

Q: You are a busy working model how has your gray hair enhanced your career?

A: My hair is my signature along with a 100% natural look. That’s the image I chose as my brand. As a model, it has been both an asset and hindrance. The concept of accepting gray hair is becoming something other than “old lady/grandma,” but the reality is that advertising is still youth-oriented. Women always search for any way to look younger and ads will continue to be marketed towards that. It happens often that a client will choose a woman my age with dyed hair over gray for that very reason. There is a fallacy about dyed hair equals youth, and gray hair equals old. But it is slowly changing and I am proud to be one of the pioneers.

Q: What has been your most exciting booking as a gray hair model?

A: Being chosen as the first mature gray haired model in the Athleta catalog in 2016 was thrilling I was featured alongside young women of all body types and ethnicities- I was truly proud to represent my generation.
I also had my first magazine cover in 2017 – M Magasin Sweden the images are unedited and marketed to women over forty.

Q: What advice do you have for women wanting to go gray?

A: My advice is to go for it!! You will never regret it. Surround yourself with people (online virtual and real) who support You being You. Gray hair does inspire comments from virtual strangers that no other color will- so be prepared. Many are very kind and genuine- enjoy those and learn to ignore the rest which inevitably comes from other women being cruel just because of their insecurities. Gray hair will make you stand out- Own it. Confidence is the key.

Ladies with a Gray Attitude

April 18, 2018 ·

Let’s face it you have to have a fierce attitude when you go gray. Now, this is not a negative attitude, it’s not an unattractive attitude it’s an attitude that shows confidence and self-worth.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

From my experience, I felt very uncomfortable when I first decided to ditch the dye. I would look in the mirror and separate my hair and say OMG what are you thinking? What are you doing? I would flip through magazines and see hair campaigns with girls my age sporting gorgeous brunette glossy locks and then I would see commercials with girls in slow motion running with their beautiful freshly dyed hair waving at me. I felt so alone, so weird and so unattractive. Can you relate?

“When Society Says NO, You Say YES!”

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

In life, we all know the saying it’s not what happens to you it’s how you handle it or something along those lines. I decided to start looking at myself as lucky, lucky that I had hair, lucky my hair was gray, lucky that I could be an inspiration to other women wanting to embrace their gray hair. That’s when it all changed for me and my gray hair and I became friends. How long did this take? Probably a good year into the transition. What made my hair journey so much easier is that I didn’t try and stay the same with the style of my hair. I cut it to a chic bob and kept cutting it every six weeks so the black dye would quickly disappear. You can’t half-ass going gray you are either in or out. There is no “Let me kind of see how this looks” or “Oh I will just do gray a little bit.” Cut your hair and get over it. It’s not cute to have hair on the ground and gray roots that will never catch up. That’s, where the fierce part comes in you, have to grab your personal gray movement by the roots and go for it. Ladies hair does not define you and cutting your hair is a necessity to your gray hair journey.

“You Can’t Half-Ass Going Gray, You Are Either In or Out.” Nikol Johnson

Maybe you have a boyfriend, spouse or partner that is not supportive. You and only you have to Own Your Beauty. Your gray hair journey is not for anyone else to decide Period. You are running this race no one else. So if you don’t have a support system head on over to my private Facebook group called Beauty Reinvented and join the other ladies that are going through the same thing you are. Remember it all starts from within.

Silver Sister Spotlight with Pilar

April 13, 2018 ·

I am a total stalker when it comes to Instagram and women showcasing their gray hair journey. I love that we can all connect on social media and share our unique stories. I found Pilar somehow through all my late night scrolling and I couldn’t wait to share her journey with you. Show Pilar some love and go visit her on Instagram.

Pilar is native Spaniard and has spent most of her adult years living and working abroad. She has a BA in Film and Media and an MA in Screenwriting, she has worked in the film, TV and theatre industries. In recent years she made a career move exploring some aspects of marketing, and she is currently on sabbatical doing what she enjoys most: helping raise awareness and funds for two charities she has been collaborating with for years, and acting as a consultant for one-off fundraising events. She resides in London with her husband and their two daughters.

When did you start going gray?

My last appointment to cover my greys was late June 2017. I had not planned it, it was a simple ‘what if’ scenario. What if I stopped dyeing my hair? What if I liked what I saw? What if it suited me? I talked to my stylist during that last appointment and to my surprise, he was all for it. Next thing I know is that we are exchanging pics of hairstyles for grey-haired ladies. Two months later he dyed my colored hair one last time adding highlights where my natural hair was lighter, and lowlights where it was still dark. I lost a bit of my new growth in the process, which is why I always mention two timelines when I date a picture of my hair, but it was definitely worth going through this five-hour long appointment at the salon.

How did you feel going gray in your forties?

I started seeing greys in my early 20s, and they kept multiplying until I first dyed them in my late 30s. I was familiar with living with a certain amount of greys and I knew I had a lighter streak at the front but I had never imagined that my hair would be so much more salt than pepper now.

I am the only one among my friends who has grey hair and does not color it. I initially thought that this might affect me, that I would feel unattractive and out of place when around them. Then there were the thoughts about work. Since the prospect of applying for jobs that will involve face-to-face meetings with clients is considerably high given my background, I also thought that my hair would be an issue when I start interviewing again after my sabbatical. It turns out that I am delighted with my decision of going grey and I do not feel that I am less just because I do not conform any more to the norm of hiding my silvers if anything this has made me stronger. And if my silvers are an issue to a potential employer, then that company would not be worth working for!

I have gifted myself three hours of my time every three weeks, and I do not have to worry anymore about calculating when to dye my roots so I would look on point for a certain event or holiday. I can’t wait for my hair to be all grey, but in the meantime, there are many ways of looking stylish. What’s not to like about this?!

What’s been your hardest challenge going gray?

In all fairness, the process is being a lot less challenging than I had anticipated. The first few weeks were certainly the most difficult. Getting used to the idea that my natural roots were here to stay took me a bit of time and a lot of staring at them in the mirror. I knew there would be no more color appointment so I made the effort of wearing my new growth with pride, and I only used colored hair powder and sprays on two occasions: a gala dinner and a wedding, both at the beginning of my transition. I attended family weddings on the third and fourth month of my transition and on both occasions I asked for a hairstyle that would bring out my silvers rather than hide them.

Also, I noticed early in my gray transition that if I wanted to succeed I could not neglect my hairstyle or my make-up on a daily basis. For someone used to air dry her hair and with zero make-up skills this has probably been the most challenging part, and yet I am enjoying it: it’s never too late to learn new skills!

What advice do you have for the woman that gets negative comments about her gray hair?

I have not received many negative comments so far, and I am certain that my extremely positive attitude about going grey has a lot to do with this. Transitioning to grey is quite a bumpy ride, and the key to success is to own your decision. Feel confident, and people will see beautiful silvers and the prospect of a healthy mane rather than grey roots.

You may get compliments from total strangers and the nastiest of comments from close friends or relatives. Your inner circle will have the greatest impact on how you feel during the transition. Be prepared for insensitive comments, and some funny looks, especially at the beginning of the process. My husband had never wanted me to dye my hair so he was very supportive, even when my roots looked like a hot mess. My children… well, that was a very different story: they almost cried! I was the cool mum all their friends wished they had and all of a sudden they were picturing me as this 100-year-old grey haired witch that children see in animated films… and they reminded me of it on a daily basis! Then there were my friends, most of them encouraging me to do this with just one or two friends telling me how old I would look and asking me to color my hair again, to do it ‘for them’… But the real shock came when my own mother, who has never dyed her hair and has a wonderful healthy silver mane, told me I should not stop coloring my hair because it would age me. Of course, determined as I am when I want to do something, I listened, smiled, and carried on with my business. Eventually, those who openly opposed to my grey journey, in the beginning, have now either come around or given up on me. Remember that there is one certain thing about novelty: it wears out!

What made you want to share your gray hair journey on social media?

When I started this journey I found stunning grey-haired ladies who inspired me, ladies whose hair made me dream that one day perhaps mine would be half as beautiful. As a matter of fact, your Instagram account was one of the first relevant accounts I followed, and it’s not just your incredible grey hair that I love.

I am not a model, nor am I a fabulous photographer or even have decent equipment (I mostly post iPhone selfies), and I certainly do not have a glamorous life… at least not always! I am just a girl next door many women could relate to, a practical woman who is consistent with her lifestyle choices, and I created @silverlocksshining with that in mind. Instagram is the ideal platform to quickly share the ups and downs of my everyday going-grey life, and other women who may be considering taking the plunge can see what I am experiencing: the challenges, the changes (some of them deeper than just hair color), the hair growth at every stage… Lots of headshots, which may help others overcome a rough phase or maybe picture themselves with grey hair. Even if every journey is different, seeing that someone has been there too and has managed to go through it can encourage others to stay the course.

Sharing my journey on social media also helps me keep focused and see the evolution myself. We all have days when we think nothing has changed in weeks and this visual record proves me that my hair is indeed growing and that it is now stronger, healthier and much shinier than all those years I was throwing color at it to cover those silvers I am now in love with.

What Does Being A Girl Boss Mean?

April 3, 2018 ·

#Girlboss, #Bossbabe, #LikeABoss are thrown around like candy in a social media world that’s all about image and the perception of success. What does being a Girl Boss mean? Is there pressure to be this perfect woman that #slays it like a #WomanOnTop all of the time? Are we creating more pressure to be perfect, always put together with the “perfect” life or maybe I should say showing the “perfect life?” I find myself even using these hashtags as part of my daily vocabulary and using them in my Instagram posts like they are going out of style. I even sell travel mugs in my studio that says “Like A Boss.” We all want positive images, mantras, phrases but where do trends stop and real life takes over? For the last couple of months every time I use one of these hashtags I think to myself “What does this mean?”

Photo Credit: Rick Gomez Photography

We live in a world now that is entirely run by media, social media and what people want you to believe is right. The constant need and desire to keep up the term #WomanOnTop, to post the next best image, the next best blog post, video, podcast and when you fail to fill this social media beast you have FOMO continually. Do I have enough followers? Oh, wait her massive following is fake? And I have been comparing myself/career/life to her? Listen I am also in this spin cycle of our new world just like everyone else, but I have been thinking about what a #GirlBoss is/does/lives/thinks. The most important thing to remember is that you are unique and not like everyone else. You don’t need to compare yourself to the next Instagram account, Facebook “Life” or business. The power comes from within not from a hashtag.

Photo Credit: Rick Gomez Photography

So what is a Girl Boss? Ask yourself that question, what does that mean to you?

What does a Girl Boss do? Is she a Mom that manages a household? Is she your retired neighbor that grows a garden? Is she your doctor? Is she the line cook at your daughter’s school? Is she YOU? Do you see where I am going with this?

Where does a Girl Boss live? LOL, this is getting silly because she lives everywhere in the world!

How does a Girl Boss think? Take the label off because you are a woman of power, of light, of discipline, of love. You have so much more to yourself than trying to be a Girl Boss.

Let me say there is nothing wrong with trends etc. or wanting to be a Girl Boss. I am pointing out that getting caught up in a trendy label, pushing yourself to be at some social media level of success is not something to strive for, it’s just that trendy.

Photo Credit: Rick Gomez Photography

Do I struggle with keeping up with the social media whirlwind I mean what entrepreneur doesn’t? I sometimes wish we could go back to 1988 where your phone had a cord attached to the wall, you weren’t allowed to have a phone in your room, and when you went out, NO ONE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD IF THEY COULDN”T REACH YOU. Constant pressure to have better numbers not only with your bank account but in your social media accounts it’s almost like we don’t have a name just value by numbers. I think #Girlboss has seen its day and women are looking for more substance, more depth, more connection to not only a popular saying.

How you show up to the world is what is powerful, how you handle yourself in challenging situations is powerful. Life is not always comfortable, and with all the distractions we face now it’s incredible that we get anything done. We have apps that can deliver you anything from coffee to a driver. If you don’t get the information in a Nanosecond, the world feels like it’s coming unglued. Ask yourself what empowers you? What makes you feel powerful? I can tell you that it’s not Instagram or Facebook or a hashtag behind your name that says #Girlboss. In recent studies, one in five people say they feel depressed as a result of using social media.

Create your reality one that is real and true. Set out to impress yourself not anyone else. Reach for your goals, take that class, turn off your phone, look around, live, breathe, love, share, talk, speak, listen, hug, encourage, feel, because THAT is what counts ladies. You are what you believe and say to yourself start writing your story and live it.

Creating Personal Style with Gray Hair

March 28, 2018 ·

Going gray is a bold move, it’s not the most comfortable transition. So many thoughts run through your mind, “Am I old now?” “What are people going to think?” “Does this mean I can’t have fun?” “What are people going to say?” I have been there and had all the thoughts you do. It doesn’t matter if you are in your thirties taking the leap or you are in your eighties gray hair has a particular emotional tie to the age that none of us can escape.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

Going gray means you need to transition into a new style. You need to look at your hairstyle, your nails, your makeup colors, your wardrobe style and colors. If you see this transformation as an upgrade an adventure to the new you I guarantee you will have a good time. If you look at your gray hair in a negative light and feel that change is hard and not worth it, then you will have a hard time going through this process.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

I styled this Escada jumpsuit specifically for this photo shoot to show you that being bold is a choice. One could say that I am in my forties now and it’s inappropriate to wear such a deep plunging neckline, and some could say that I am too old to pull off this style. It’s what you say to yourself that matters. Do you think it’s inappropriate? Do you think you are too old? That’s what matters. If you have been following me for awhile, you know my style is classic I mostly wear Ferragamo, Oscar de la Renta, Escada with a JCrew T-Shirt or St. John knit suit thrown in there. My basic daily uniform to go to work in is a Ferragamo scarf with a black top and black slacks. I would wear this Escada jumpsuit to an elegant cocktail party any day.

“Why Be Status Quo?” ~Nikol Johnson

How do you feel about your style right now? Is your closet overflowing with clothes that are outdated, worn, frumpy, too big, too small? What does your wardrobe look like? What does your wardrobe say about you? Can you walk into your closet and say you feel that every piece is fantastic? I can, because I spent the last year curating my dream wardrobe. I bought a bunch of books to help me figure out this process from The Curated Closet, The Little Black Book of Style to 365 Style. It takes time and patience to understand the woman you want to be and dress.

PC: Rick Gomez Photography

Personal style is an art. Once you master the techniques of smarter purchasing, being a more selective shopper and making the most of your budget you will never look back. I would walk into my closet each morning and take inventory of what I didn’t love. I would make mental notes until I was ready to pull the items and either donate or consign. Speaking of consignment I started selling my closet on PoshMark in June of 2016 and to date, I have sold over $2,800. I have taken the money that I earned selling items from my closet and invested in classic designer pieces. Shopping doesn’t have to be complicated when you take the time to have your entire wardrobe be only clothes that are high quality, fit you properly not only look amazing you feel like you can take on the world.

Gray hair changes your style game because what you once wore and worked for you most probably won’t work now with your new gray/silver/white hair color. Why be status quo? Why not make a plan and set some styling goals. Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself that will help you design your style from The Curated Closet.

What was your favorite outfit that you wore during the last two weeks and why? How did that outfit make you feel?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy were you overall with your outfits during these past two weeks?
Describe your style in three adjectives.
How easy is it for you to choose an outfit in the morning?
What type of occasions do you have to dress for?

Out of all the books I read, I would highly recommend The Curated Closet it’s a simple system designed for you to quickly discover your style. I found it incredibly helpful and easy to implement.

Ladies if you are going gray and want to rock it you have to take a look at your style. Spring is the perfect time to upgrade and refresh your entire wardrobe. Make every outfit celebrate your unique personality.

Silver Sister Spotlight with Elisa

March 19, 2018 ·

I feel it is essential not only to share my gray hair journey but hear from other ladies that are just like you going through this uncertain beauty transition. I am so excited to feature Elisa, a 52-year-old Italian-Canadian woman. She is a college educated professional working in an administrative field with international companies where her ability to speak five languages gives her a cutting-edge advantage in the business world.

What made you decide to go gray and how old were you?

I had such a fantastic and wonderful life from birth to 50. Fun, parties, traveling, living life like from a magazine or nowadays from Instagram. If Instagram were available in my youth, I would have been an IT girl. Always willing to take up challenges and just be everywhere at once with tons of laughter and just complete and utter happiness. And then I turned 50! And it hit me like a brick. I WAS NO LONGER YOUNG. I was no longer young. I was no longer young. And I spiraled into a depression that lasted a full year if not more. During this depression, I had gone to color my white hair roots, and while I was looking at myself in the salon mirror with sagging skin, etc. I said to myself “really? Like really? What are you? Who are you fooling? Stop it now and start accepting that you are no longer young” I was exactly 51.

If you could change one perception of gray hair what would it be?

My whole channel is about changing white hair perception Albeit all the great support I get from my fellow grey haired ladies the rest of society is just not accepting it. Grey hair perceived by most is the end of the line. Period. I genuinely believe that only when the marketing machine starts working on making women with grey hair sexy, cherish-able, desired, valuable, vital, well everything they do for dyed hair but natural grey hair, only then can society be brainwashed to accept grey hair. Because on our own, it is never going to happen, love.

You seem to have a funky style who and what inspires you?

LOL. For me funky style means crazy. If I look insane than all I can say is that I don’t emulate anyone to look like this. I just take my risks while following proportion rules. However, when I see anyone anywhere with a particular outfit that attracts me, I will explore the possibility to interpret that look with what I have in my closet.

How do you encourage other women to accept their gray?

I don’t. I am not a white hair advocate. I couldn’t care less how anyone looks as long as they are happy. I get many many many comments asking me if they should go grey. My response is always going grey is not a hair issue at all. It’s all about acceptance. If people ask what it means that letting go of the grey is not what they need.

How has your YouTube channel changed since going gray?

I sincerely owe it all to V from Grit and Glamour. V had seen my first video on transitioning to grey, and because she followed my progress she gave my name a shout out in one of her videos, and I went from 160 subscribers to 1K within a month. Initially, I was not planning to do videos on my hair transition but instead focus on style. However, seeing the tremendous response, I got from the first video I just kept on doing development update videos. Still today they are the ones that generate the most traffic. I also changed with the transition. Whereas before my focus was on how to get a specific look now my attention is on how to accept how we choose to expose ourselves to the world. The fastest and easiest way to happiness is acceptance of oneself and that of others.

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